How homemaker find own personal time & space?

Peace be to all... been quiet a while since i write down my thoughts, well the above question was asked by a friend and so i need to write down my thoughts in order for me to "see" what the questions is in the 1st place. As usual, i have to ask a few questions before i can actually answer the question.

Q1 - Define homemaker?

http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homemaker - definition

A homemaker is a person whose main job is to take care of their own family home and children. Traditionally, the job of homemaker is done by women and the job of provider is done by men, but both men and women can be providers and homemakers.

To me that means my hubby is also a homemaker - for goodness sake! Every mom and dad out there is a homemaker! honestly, i hate all this titles and what-not this name calling thingy -  ok i accept as a general definition - i m a homemaker - blah!

next Q2 - why is the question given to me? 

Answer: because i m no longer working full-time and spent more time at home than outside home ... heee... just does'nt sounds right :)

Q3 - What is personal time and space? well i am never good with words and how to explain things so as usual i googled  for "personal time and space" and came across this:

Lebanese American poet Kahlil Gibran wrote in his book "The Prophet", on marriage:

The strings of a lute are alone though

they quiver with the same music

Give your hearts,

but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life

can contain your hearts.

And stand together,

yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple

stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress

grow not in each other's shadow.

I am never good at interpreting poem  either, but i do know everyone need personal space and time regardless whether u are a homemaker or not. 

Q4. How do you find it? To me? I can just shutdown everything else around me and be by myself anytime i want to - even in crowded places - Yes! What is personal time to me:

when i m read the Quran, feeling Allah is talking directly to me

when i am able to browse tru the internet

When i am engrossed reading a book, 

when i m able to expand my creative juices in any of my hobbies 

When i am able to ride a bike without having to wait 

when i m taking long walks to keep myself fit

when i m out trekking and enjoying His blessings that surrounds me

when i m watching tv and be able to immerse and understand the story 

when i m writing and talking to myself while doing so ;)

Q5. What is MY personal space? I am happy when i m given the space to do the above regardless whether it is just a seat or a corner while riding the MRT or the whole park when i m doing my walk.

Each individual define personal time and space differently, to me, i don't have to be away from my family nor friends to attain it. As someone who is married with children, i automatically will arrange my time and space with my family to consider with. When i was working - my working table is my personal space where i m given the liberty to arrange and keep it tidy as i wish :) lunch time or even when i m working on my own - i will consider it as personal time. At home when i am resting and sleeping that is my personal time. Or when i go for facial and spa treatment too.

So if you ask me ~ how homemaker find own personal time & space? Just make it - the time is in your hand - it is up to you to make that time. Whether you are working out of home or not, ultimately you and everyone have 24hours per day. It is up to you to prioritize and make that time and space yours.

the difference ... in confidence & self esteem...

Peace be to all...
I met a dear friend, Lina and her family the other day and as usual we will exchange news and talk about our children. While I have 3 girls and a boy (youngest), she has the exact opposite. So our experience differ in raising our children. While my girls can sit quietly, play or read among themselves in a corner (even my son is able to do the same thou he will run around when he is outdoor or restless), her boys will start wrestling with each other and run around the room almost every second. The girl will just sit at a corner watching tv and oblivious of the boys.

I love watching their reactions and the activities that they come up with ... but the noise level, a little bit too high for me but for a short period - I can bear with it and enjoy it while it last ... no wonder i have more girls than boys and I tot I was better with boys (before we have the girls - hahaha), only Allah knows best. The girls get noisy too but I will not allow them to carry-on for long. And so our parenting styles differ accordingly ... they are stricter than us or shall I put it more organized and disciplined than us in most areas.

When they were young our children will at least have 1 hour physical activities every day - outdoor if possible. Lina would let hers played at home and only occasionally brought them out. They were too active, rowdy & too difficult to control - she said.  My children, didn't attend supplementary classes or play group apart from chilcare/kindergarten, Quranic reading and madrasah; but she sent hers to  all of the above and more language, maths and others.

When they started primary school - I told my children their bags and school's work and stuffs were their responsibility to look after. They could come to us when they need assistance but they were on their own. We stopped buying assessment books when my eldest was in P4 because we did not force them to do it (as learning should be self driven) so the books were usually not used, we decided to give away those books and stopped buying.

Lina and her hubby will diligently look tru their children's stuff and make sure they do their homework and sit with them to make sure they do the exercises in the assessment books that they bought. They told me if they did not sit with them - the children will not do it. I agree with that; that was why my children did not do any because we were not as consistent.

We are happy with our children's progress in school but they keep telling us they are disappointed with their children's. So when we met they other day, Even tho I was always ready to give her tips and advice but I realized, obviously our parenting style differs and what works in our home does not necessarily works in theirs ... then I noticed that even tho the children were busy with their activities and the girl seemed oblivious to her surrounding - the children were listening (or within the ear shot) to whatever their parents were saying.

Is this the case of self-Prophecy? - I asked myself. Do they trust their children? Is the law of attraction, attracting the negative forces? At that moment, the parents' voices, the children's reactions was like moving slowly in front of me and i managed to catch - those little movements and signals that were visible. The children were confirming the parents thoughts by reacting the way the parents were expecting them to react. I had to put a stop to this - I told myself.

Sadly, such thoughts are very true to many concerned parents, like Lina and her husband, they shows more of thier disappointments and worries than praises and trust to their children. As a result, their children lack the confident of being able to do well on their own. They lack the confident of putting trust in themselves for them to do well. They loose their self-esteem every time they heard their parents' disappointments. The thoughts of being a disappointments to their parents had been drummed in their heads that they denied themselves of the success to be otherwise. It is a case of self-prophecy - in this case the children are fulfilling their parents' wishes to be disappointed and that they are not good enough like other children. One other very sad thing is parents began to believe that their children are probably not as smart as other children ... and when I heard that from Lina, I turned red and so i told her these:

• First and foremost as parents we have to believe that our children are smart and genius in their own way. Each of them has the potential to excel and do well. You may not see what your child is good at today, have patience and put your trust in Allah and in the child that she/he will try her/his best and you will find their potential.We also have to lower our expectations accordingly if what we aspire is not up to our child's level and help them to achieve their best even if it is not at our best. Believe that they will do well and be successful in their own way and terms.
•  Whatever you are teaching and doing to your child may not be the best method. work with  your child to find what is better, listen and observe  your child most importantly believe that your child will be successful one day - they will find their niche, insyaallah.
• Please do not voice your disappointments openly to others about them. Do it quietly in consultation (without them around) Even when you tell them, do it gently and get them to plan with you how to overcome it - not just tell them and leave them to "think". They will think & feel they are useless and it will pull their self-esteem even lower.  
• It's ok to fail - I told my children this but what important is to learn from that failure and help them improve using other alternatives and ways. failing is not the end of the world - read this- PhD Students went from exams flop to cream of the crop
• Give your child the opportunity to problem solve - if it is not the matter of life and death - let them resolve their own problems.
• Guide and facilitate them to make smart choices but do not decide for them if it is not a matter of Iman & akidah, life & death.
• Most importantly - if you had tried your best as parents, then put your trust in Allah for He is the Sustainer, He will provide for your children, insya'Allah

May Allah continue giving us His guidance and bring us to the right path...Ameen

About knowing and being healthy

Peace be to all,
The month of Syawal is almost over, as a practice we will usually visit friends and relatives during this month. Though i enjoy being alone, i do make a point to visit my relatives and friends just to touch base and see how they are doing, we are living in a community after all. Tho i rather curl up at home, i had to force and extricate myself out. But at the end of the day it was always a pleasure meeting them and exchanging news and ideas. I am ever so grateful to have a bunch of great ppl around me, Alhamdulillah! :)

As usual we will have current and "major" topic to discuss and share about. Coincidentally, this year is about my hubby recent heart by-pass surgery. And so that become the "hot" topic for him to talk about this year as we went visiting. So the topic of discussion this year was on health. Ironically, tho many of us do know the importance of taking care of our health, the food served on our table showed otherwise. I tried my best to take as little as i could but temptation sometimes override and u tend to go with the flow. And so after each visits i will have to detox and exercise to burn the excess food i had taken the day before. Talking and knowing about healthy living is easy but being healthy and practicing what you know will take all the stamina and determination for you to be consistent.

We have both been trying to loose weight and we had successfully lost a few kg but the effect of "good food" had caused our weight to fluctuate like a yo-yo. So we need to work harder after each weekend and continue to persevere till we can successfully not only think healthy but also eat healthily, insya'Allah. This is one of the things that i don't quiet enjoy when we go from house to house. They are all good hosts and hostesses and such they tried their best to serve "good food" and as guest we don't have the heart to decline tho it harm our body, esp our hearts.

However, I had learned a few techniques of being seen as a good guest, if u already had had enuf;
1. delay taking the food as long as you can
2. take a bit and spread the food across the whole plate
3. "play" with your food and eat sparingly and slowly (to ensure there is always food on your plate)
4. Drink lots of water (plain, sugarless) so u r really "full" (u r not lying when u said u r full. it is also to help u fight the temptation of eating more than u need)
5. keep the conversation going or entertain your children
6. Don't forget to thank the guess for the lovely meal,
7. Remind yourself if u really like it - u can always eat it on another day when u are not full (by cooking it or buy it later) - don't force feed yourself and think that you had wasted the nice food by not eating them. But think of how much harm you will do to your body if you take excess food that your body can no longer take..

Alhamdulillah we r showered with plenty food in Singapore and most of us will not go hungry, insya'Allah, thus we do not need extra for keeps ;) these also apply to when i have wedding buffet to attend to...it is very risky to go on empty stomach, u tend to eat and want more than u need. SO I usually make sure i drink plenty of water and some fruits before approaching the buffet table ;) and it works! I will have not much appetite to eat thereafter and eat sparingly :)

BE HEALTHY & STAY CHEERFUL!!!

My Ramadan Collections

Peace be to All,

Ramadan is almost over...and am sad that Ihave not accomplished my desired target. However, Alhamdulillah, managed to do some Quran readings and Tarawih.  So for my own record and reference I will put it up here:  

First and foremost the dua for the remaining few days of Ramadan collection of Hadith by  Imam Ahmad as narrated by Ibn Umar r.a. :
 

Aisyah r.a. asked Rasulullah s.a.w.,"Ya Rasulullah s.a.w. if I found the night Lailatul-Qadar, what is the dua that I should recite? Rasulullah s.a.w. recited:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ اْلعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي
[Alloohumma Innaka ‘Afuwwun, Tuhibbul ‘Afwa, Fa’fu ‘Anni] 

 " Ya Allah! Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengampun, oleh itu berilah keampunan-Mu untukku. "

"Oh Allah! You are the Most Forgiving, please give me Your forgiveness."

Here are the verses coincidentally my Quran readings covered mostly on the verses that are about Al-Quran.:

Qaf. By the glorious Qur'an, (1) 
Nay, but they marvel that a warner of their own hath come unto them; and the disbelievers say: This is a strange thing: (2)
When we are dead and have become dust (shall we be brought back again)? That would be a far return! (3)
We know that which the earth taketh of them, and with Us is a recording Book. (4) Nay, but they have denied the truth when it came unto them, therefor they are now in troubled case. (5)
Have they not then observed the sky above them, how We have constructed it and beautified it, and how there are no rifts therein? (6)
And the earth have We spread out, and have flung firm hills therein, and have caused of every lovely kind to grow thereon, (7) A vision and a reminder for every penitent slave. (8)
And We send down from the sky blessed water whereby We give growth unto gardens and the grain of crops, (9)
And lofty date-palms with ranged clusters, (10)
Provision (made) for men; and therewith We quicken a dead land. Even so will be the resurrection of the dead. (11) 

~ Surah Qaf

Ha Mim. The revelation of the Book is from Allah the Exalted in power, Full of Wisdom. Verily in the heavens and the earth, are Signs for those who believe. And in the creation of yourselves and the fact that animals are scattered (through the earth), are Signs for those of assured Faith. Surah Al-Jathiya (45), verses 1-4.

Wednesday at 07:22

Ha Mim. By the Book (Quran) that makes things clear - We sent it down during a blessed night: for We (ever) wish to warn (against evil). In that (night) is made distinct every affair of wisdom. By Command, from Our presence. For We (ever) sent (Revelations). As a mercy from thy Lord: for He hears and knows (all things); the Lord of the heavens and the earth and all between them if ye (but) have an assured faith. ~ (Chapter 44) Surah Ad-Dukhan:verses 1-7

Tuesday at 06:58

 [7:31] O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters

22 August at 17:33 

Ha-Mim, By the Book (Quran) that makes things clear. We have made it a Qur'an in Arabic, that ye may be able to understand (and learn wisdom). And verily it is the Mother of the Book, in Our Presence, high (in dignity), full of wisdom. ~Sura 43 - Az-Zukhruf: Verse 1-4

21 August at 06:29

The same religion has He established for you (Muhammad) as that which He enjoined on Noah; that which We have sent by inspiration to thee (Muhammad)and that which We enjoined on Ibrahim, Musa, and Isa: namely, that ye should remain steadfast in Religion, and make no division therein: to those who worship other things than Allah, hard is the (way) to which thou callest them. Allah chooses to Himself those whom He pleases, and guide to Himself those who turn (to Him) Ash-Shura:13

21 August at 05:58

Sura 6 - Al-Anaam (MAKKA) : Verse 39
Those who reject Our Ayât (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) are deaf and dumb in darkness. Allâh sends astray whom He wills and He guides on the Straight Path whom He wills.

20 August at 15:39 

Allah it is Who appointed for you the earth for a dwelling place and the sky for a canopy, and fashioned you and perfected your shapes, and hath provided u with good things. Such is Allah, your Lord. Then blessed be Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. He is the Living One. There is no God save Him. So pray unto Him, making religion pure fo Him (only). Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds!~ surah Ghafir, Chapter 40, verses 64 & 65.

17 August at 06:51

If u reject (Allah), truly Allah has no need of you: but He likes not ingratitude from His servants: if u r grateful, He is pleased with you. No bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another. In the End to your Lord is your Return, when He will tell you the truth of all that u did (in this life). For He knows well all that is in (men's ) heart. Az-Zumar (chapter 39), verse 7.

16 August at 07:51

(This is) a Scripture that We have revealed unto thee, full of blessing, that they may ponder its revelations. and that men of understanding may reflect. 38(Sad):29

14 August at 07:07  

O ye who believe! Celebrate the praises of Allah, and do this often; And glorify Him morning and evening. He it is Who sends blessings on you as do His angels, that He may bring you out from depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. ~Al-Ahzab:41-43

04 August at 08:14

Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah (alone). It is He Who sends down rain, and He Who knows what is in the wombs. Nor does any one know what it is that he will earn on the morrow: Nor does any one know in what land he is to die. Verily with Allah is full knowledge and He is acquainted (with all things). Surah Luqman,31:34

01 August at 20:39 via Mobile ·

So (give) glory to Allah, when ye reach eventide and when ye rise in the morning; Yea, to Him be praise, in the heaven and on earth; and in the late afternoon and when the day begins to decline Al-Room:17-18

 01 August at 08:00

And if ye (Muslims) call them to the Guidance they hear not; and thou (Muhammad) seest them looking toward thee, but they see not. (198) Keep to forgiveness (O Muhammad), and enjoin kindness, and turn away from the ignorant. (199) And if a slander from the devil wound thee, then seek refuge in Allah. Lo! He is Hearer, Knower. (200) ~Al-Araf

 25 July at 16:02

 

 

  

Forgive + Forget = PEACE?

I have always been interested and have been trying to find ways to be a better muslim. However hard I tried my worst stumbling block was to suppress my anger. However, Subhanallah, after reading an article by Sis Hanaa Hamad on Forgiveness and Tolerance in Islam. This para stood out;
"Islam teaches us that the strongest of servants are those who not only have the strength to suppress their anger when they are tested but also possess an immeasurable capacity to forgive. The Prophet ﷺ said that: “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins” (Al-Tirmidhi). If we can sincerely forgive those who anger us, inwardly and outwardly, then that cleanses our souls from the shaytan (satan) and his negative energy. It is important to disregard vain criticisms and this is the first step toward being tolerant. Of course, this is not done without difficulty because it is hard to understand why those who have caused us grievances wanted to do so in the first place. But this is where the battle with our inner self can take a positive turn and allow us to elevate our iman (faith). This inner struggle is what the Prophet ﷺ called “The Greater Jihad” because it involves tolerance and fighting the evil within ourselves in order to purify our hearts. This is always done for the sake of Allah and to purify our spiritual conditions."

It has led me to make the following deduction, that what I need to do is not to overcome or suppress the rapid anger that I have in me...but is to be forgiving first. Alhamdulillah, I tot in the beginning that it was easy for me to forgive but usually I did it after my anger had erupted. My wish in the beginning was to be able to suppress that anger than to be rid off it (because that what I thought I should do) and that I found was sooo difficult...it is always easier said than done. So suppressing my anger was i thought the greatest challenge...well I guess that is half the battle of my way to be stronger :). Then I realised, MashaAllah! If only I can forgive easily 1st than I will not get angry. So the equation is:

to quickly forgive, + to quickly forgive, + to quickly forgive = peace (you will not be angered)

Suppressing my anger will not help
if I don't forgive quickly
It will burn my insides
And erupts like a volcano
When I can no longer suppressed it
it should NOT be there in the 1st place
so there is no need for me to suppress anything

The equation is:

immediately forgive + immediately forgive + immediately forgive = peace

by giving the person the benefit of the doubt that he/she has no idea that u are hurting :)

Thus the equation to be a stronger muslim; insyaAllah is to forgive immediately so you will not even need to suppress your anger. Sis Hanaa Hamad wrote;
"The Prophet ﷺ and his companions were so merciful in their conduct that instead of becoming angry with their offenders, they defended them and gave them gifts. What immeasurable acts of compassion."
My deduction is that you should reward the person because you might have wrongly thought that he/she had wanted to hurt you. When in fact that person have no such intention of doing so. In any case, if that person do have the intention then he/she is actually doing you a favour by giving you the chance to "upgrade" yourself to being a better Muslim because he/she is giving you the opportunity and the challenge to be tested. Haha!!! What a wonderful way to be a better Muslim! MashaAllah! 

Let's just hope this analysis of the equation;

forgive+forget=peace 

will help me in preventing myself from falling into the pit of anger again....now that Ramadan is about to end. I hope Allah will give me the opportunity to meet another Ramadan so as to give me the opportunity to better myself, insya'Allah.

Please forgive me if my rambling has caused some discomfort on your part as a reader, I just need to make sense of how I can handle my emotion better and one of the best way is to analyse and reason myself out.

Whatever good comes from Allah and all the nonsense are due to my own weaknesses...feel free to share how you handle your emotions (if you don't mind doing so)

May the remaining Ramadan filled with all the blessings that over and above what we deserve due to Allah's Mercy and overpowering Love to all of us...Ameen...

To forgive and to forget easily...that is my wish

Peace be to all and may our days ahead be filled with Allah's blessings as always. Alhamdulillah (All Praise be to Allah) am grateful to be healthy and alive as the rain showers down and cool the neighbourhood. Am ever in gratitude to Allah for making my heart feel light and easy, for once again showering me with the peace and tranquality that I am ever so thankful for. :)

However, there were days when my heart felt heavy and restless, strangely and ironically I usually felt that way over some petty issues and not over major or heavy issues. For example, I felt calm and relief or at peace when there was death in the family. I observed, listened and prayed for directions when there was a calamity or heavy issues that we had to go thru. But i will get angry when someone pestered me or made petty request  or asked too many questions or irritate me for no reasons. Silly me - letting little things disturbed my peace and tranquality. >3

These little episodes would bring me into reflection and depression mode for days (sometimes) just bcos I was not able to put things into perspective for that short-period of a few seconds/minutes. Jus bcos my brain mal-function and short-circuited itself at that moment all the -ve emotions rush into it and filled it up. As a result, I had to surge through my reserved energies and sourced out ways to get back my +ve emotions to cancel all those negativity - to raise myself up again. Plenty of prayers and knowing that everything comes from Allah helped a lot. I had to realise that only Allah will make things easy for me and anytime, anywhere I am at His Mercy to always be able to be in my best behaviour - I must remember Him. :)

Failing to be under control during this short episodes was simply because of my arrogance and ignorance of thinking too highly of myself that I get irritated and angry over petty stuff. I was not able to forgive the person who irritated me (at least at that point) and forget about what he or she did immediately or easily - that caused me to blow and open-up my emotional bank for negativity to rush into and filled it up.

It's plain stupid - we usually think that we are better than others that usually led us to be irritated. When we felt we can make better decision, drive better, do things better, able to say kinder things and what's not - these thoughts will then led us to be upset that the other party was not doing things according to our standard. Hah! We forgot WHO gives us the capacities to do these things better than others - thus the arrogance and the ego (and syaitan whispers) won over us that equalized into anger and ingratitude (nauzubillah).

Alhamdulillah, now I can write it down and explain to myself what happened - it is nice to be able to explain it but in reality we always forget to forgive and forget these actions that irritate us especially when we are tired or stressed- we will be caught off guard. Oh ya... u can blame it on syaitan who is ever ready to pounce on you, when u let your guard off ... i.e. by forgetting your Creator even for that instance. I realised that what I need to do is to be in constance rememberance of Allah, whenever things poke at my emotions instead of getting angry i need to seek forgiveness from Him and seek His assistance to make things easy for me to handle, insya'Allah I m sure we will be better at handling it. I truly hope I will remember these things :), insya'Allah.

Yes...that is my wish for this coming Ramadan, to be able to forgive and forget immediately all the things that will  irritate, angered, or just simply due to my ignorance on anything and anyone...may Allah showers me with more than what I am capable of ... For He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful. Insya'Allah.

Oh! Allah please help me in remembering your attributes, so that I will constantly realise my weakness and seek your assistance to overcome it ... Ameen.

RAMADAN MUBARAK EVERYONE!!! MAY THIS RAMADAN BE BETTER THAN BEFORE, INSYA'ALLAH!

• The parable of those who take protectors other than Allah is that of the Spider, who builds (to itself) a house; but truly the flimsiest of houses― is the Spider's house if they but knew. (41)
• Verily Allah doth know of (everything) whatever that they call upon besides Him: and He is Exalted (in power), Wise. (42)
• And such are the Parables We set forth for mankind, but only those understand them who have Knowledge. (43)

• Allah created the heavens and the earth in true (proportions): verily in that is a Sign for those who believe. (44)
• Recite what is sent of the Book by inspiration to thee, and establish Regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the greatest (thing in life) without doubt. And Allah knows the (deeds) that ye do. (45)
• And dispute ye not with the People of the Book, except with means better (than mere disputation) unless it be with those of them who inflict wrong (and injury): but say "We believe in the Revelation which has come down to us and in that which came down to you; Our God and your God is one; and it is to Him we bow (in Islam)." (46)
• And thus (it is) that We have sent down the Book to thee. So the People of the Book believe therein, as also do some of these (pagan Arabs): and none but Unbelievers reject Our Signs. (47)
• And thou wast not (able) to recite a Book before this (Book came) nor art thou (able) to transcribe it with thy right hand: in that case, indeed, would the talkers of vanities have doubted. (48)
• Nay, here are Signs self-evident in the hearts of those endowed with knowledge: and none but the unjust reject Our Signs. (49)
• Yet they say: "Why are not Signs sent down to him from his Lord?" Say: "The Signs are indeed with Allah: and I am indeed a clear Warner." (50)
• And is it not enough for them that We have sent down to thee the Book which is rehearsed to them? Verily in it is Mercy and Reminder to those who believe. (51)
• Say: "Enough is Allah for a Witness between me and you: He knows what is in the heavens and on earth. And it is those who believe in vanities and reject Allah, that will perish (in the end)." (52)

~ Surah Angkabut

Nothing is perfect even how hard u try ...

Met a couple fren who have decided to retire at 45 eventho they were running a successful business. Yes, they decided to sell off their business and begin their retirement early. their reason is simple; they do not wish for a big house, neither do they wish for a new car ... all they wish is to live the rest of their life simply, peacefully and hope their children will be successful in their life.

It's time for them to take care of their health and grow old gracefully. Now is the time for them to catch up with what they had missed when they were busy running their business. Now they no longer worry whether its Monday, Tuesday or any day for them to rush tru it and not knowing what and why they are rushing for. But there are still challenges bcos it's life and that nothing is perfect ... and they can take it in a stride bcos it is not as stressful as before...

Alhamdulillah, All Praises Be to Allah...it's nice to hear about others who are pursuing their beliefs and not rush for this world anymore ... at times i wonder if it is worth to rush tru life and get so worked up and stressed out. Why can't we just relax and take things as they come along with ease and let it go when it's time? Try your best? What is your best may be different from what is define by others...to me trying your best is what is the best way you can do in order to please Allah (within your capacity and knowledge). thus it is between u and the Creator and nothing else matter. For Allah make things easy or remove sadness when it is meant for us.

اَلَّلهُمَّ لَاسَهْلَ إِلَّا مَاجَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً
وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلَ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلاً
Allahumma la sahla illama ja ‘altahu sahlawwa anta taj’alul hazna itha sh’ita sahla."
{O Allah! Nothing is easy except what you have made easy, if you wish, you can make the difficult easy.}

The doa shared by a fren aptly put things into perspective...at times when i find a situation difficult to hanlde I know only Allah can make it easy for me. Well i supposed, it's bcos we r not perfect and we will never be. Try as hard as we can the challenges - can pull you down and get the worst out of you. thereafter u try and lift yourself up again - source out for all the +ve vibes around you to revive yourself again. ~  Yes, at times it is suffocating and u want out  ~ but u know u have to stay bcos u have not excel in the challenge yet. even tho u feel u had tried your best... And so u will b given another chance and be tested again and again (the scenario may be different but the concept of the challenge remain the same - hahaha sounds like a maths problem) and until u get it right or realised how to get it right - it will stop. And then after a while u will forget and the cycle will be repeated until u bcome wiser ... or it's time for u to leave this world.

InsyaAllah - all i wish is my faith will remain in tact in whatever challenges i m facing and May Allah keep us under His guidance and keep sending us reminders and shows us the right path ... the cleansing process will never be done until your final cleansing in Akhirah ... i dreamt of death, my own (wish it will b as such), my family members and of others. Alhamdulillah nothing unpleasant or gory. I had loved ones who had passed away right in front of my eyes ... even tho the experience was real... i could never imagine what goes thereafter and seem a bit at lost each time. bcos every time it happened there seem to be an over flowing sense of relief. i wonder if it was because i had expected it or was relief for the burden of this world was over for that person...

Are we truly prepared for the life after? i doubt i will ever be, even how hard i try (not that i ever did- at least not my best) i know i will never truly be prepared for it bcos i m not perfect and that thought is actually consoling bcos ONLY the Creator is perfect ...  My only wish is that Allah will shower me with His Mercy and Forgiveness ... and that i will accept whatever is my fate willingly, insya'Allah.

Confession of a non-tiger (but tired) mom

Was looking tru my FB notes when I came accross this posting...that i had posted 13 May 2011. Wonder why I did not post it here? Well here it is - it was originally titled "Confession of a non-tiger mom" in my reflection as to what type of mom I am due to the exam fever that most mom was having in May...I am always grateful during this time of the year, every year that I don't get the fever but am happy to see my children doing the things they usually do and not be affected by the exams... Alhamdulillah

Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth: the likeness of His light is as a niche wherein is a lamp; the lamp is in glass; the glass is as though it were a star brilliant; lit from a tree blest, an olive, neither in the east nor in the west; well-nigh its oil would glow forth even though fire touch it not. light upon light. Allah guideth unto His light whomsoever He will: And Allah propoundeth similitudes for mankind: verily Allah is of everything the Knower. (An-Nur:35)

Allah guideth unto His light whomsoever He will ~ this knowledge has been the sole reason why I decided not to be a "Tiger mom" and of course many more humble experiences that lead me to change in the way I bring up my children since about 12 years ago after Alia was born. The first 5-6 was a trying learning experience, not so sweet but the discovery was ... speechless!
 I used to belief that one of the best method in bringging up a child - tru discipline and at times drilling. I still believe in discipline but not drilling. When i was in early stage of my teaching career, one of the techniques (or maybe the only 1) that i know of is tru repetition and drilling - so that was what I applied to my students, everyday for 5-10 minutes before lesson I made them (primary 1 students) read pages from their dictionary (with pictures) and Alhamdulillah (All praises be to Allah) at the end of the year all of them managed to read fluently. Due to the lack of resources and limited time drilling and repitition worked. But it was simply not enjoyable and i can't vouch that they knew what they were reading.

When I had my first child, Arina, I tried accelarated learning on her. It was tedious both of us don't enjoy it much. I could not keep up with the requirement...so i ended up playing with her most of the time and let the learning experience be incidental...(confession of a lazy mom)...exposing her to as many play experiences as i could...she was able to read on her own by four. Alhamdulillah - Phew! that was a relief... She started childcare at 2 bcos i was working there - left teaching position in primary school. So she had an early start and exposure to variety learning experience. the teachers were dedicated and she enjoyed her time spent at the childcare...

my 2nd child, Athira came 21 months after the 1st...she learned whatever her eldest sisters did minus the accelerated learning - by tt time i fell in love with the techniques of learning tru play. So everyday water-play was a must. they get their water-play time in our bathroom everyday without fail...weekly sand-play at least 3x a week at the playground. physical-play everyday for at least an hour...when they were lucky...they get to play in the rain. toys were aplenty...stackers, shapes, books and whatever we can turn into toys. the walls were covered with charts, the furnitures were pasted with word-cards. The house was child-proof and we only tidy-up when there was guest :). She joined her sister in the childcare at 3... And she only showed us that she could read to us loudly when she was six...but her reading level was just as good as her sister who was 8 at that time. Alhamdulillah! Another relief...

while bringging up the 2 of them - apart from playing with them i did send them to additional quran reading classes when i felt they did not have enuf at the childcare...swimming classes (part of the childcare activity). there were just not enuf energy... so i toned down because all of us were getting too tired, and it pained my heart to see them suffer...but i did not know better...so i still went on and most of the time i was high strung (patience was always running low) and yet i persisted...haiz... but i never had any inclination to send them for music lesson maybe because i m toned-deaf, with a voice that croaked...music was definitely not in my blood...so they never got it :( ... until they went to sch and got it from schools... we never send them for any supplementary classes either...any art activities...we did it at home...any cooking lessons...it's home-based...additional computer lessons...it's at home...tumbling and gym activity...we have it in our living room. Any science and maths activity, we did it in the parks and playgrounds... Basically most of the stuff are home-based or outdoor with mom & dad - whatever activity we felt they need - we exposed it to them ourselves.

then came Alia, our bouncy baby 34 months after Athira followed by Amsyar 23 months after Alia...their learning experience were changed due to the changed of mindset and experience...(next chapter)
.
At a very early age our main aim was to let them be independent...so we started to train them to eat, dresses, drink, sleep and whatever routine they can do on their own as soon as possible. we had high expectations ... but had to moderate it down to their level...there were lots of tug and war and time-out for both parents and child. When they started primary school they were expected to be responsible for their own studies and school stuff. We seldom checked their bags and we only helped them with their homework when they seek assistance. I only went tru their bags when I saw it balooned and i could only suggest items to be taken out... but at the end of the day...it was their decision. As far as we were concerned that they should breezed thru their primary school education (no less than A) without drilling and tuition other than our assistance and facilitation. :)

Arina, was very good at giving feedback and shared her thoughts, so we received complains from her as young as she was in primary 1 (i had to see the principal to lodge in her complains) but that was good bcos we knew what was happening...she breezed tru primary school and went to 1 of the girls' secondary schools, did extremely well in her 'O' level and now in JC1...she is on her way to become an intern in one of the research department in A*. Insha'Allah hope she will find her niche there.

Athira preferred to keep her thoughts to herself... and just met our requirements in scoring A's (with ease)...but we still received complains from her teacher as early as when was in P2...she did not complete her homework, or more like felt it was not important to do it - because teacher said "do it if you have the time" or something like that - (yes she could but its her time!) So the teacher felt she could do better and if she put in more effort...thereafter i decided not to go for any parent-teacher meet :)). So a year later, she was discovered to be among the top 1% of the Gifted programme students ... so she changed school at P4...and teachers still complained...scored extremely well in her PSLE and went to a girls' secondary school with an IP program. So she need not sit for her 'O' levels exams :). Now at year 3, i finally see her actually studying for her exams...and so I asked if she is doing well in her studies this year... our conversation sounds something like this:
Me: How is your studies this year?
Athira: not so good
Me: define what is "not so good"?
Athira: I did not score full marks for any of my test this year...
.
As a non-tiger mom - I told her just to try her best and apply what she had learned... to me scoring full marks in a test is not important what is important is applying those knowledge and what does it meant to you. If studying is just meant to score full marks... then we have not done enuf for them to understand the concept of seeking knowledge  - and that ... Allah guided unto His light whomsoever He will... and this goes for everything that you will learn in life, insya'Allah...

Live with laughter and love with all your heart.......

Anonymous ~ received this story via email
It was a busy raining morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.I took his vital signs and had him take a seat,knowing it would be over an hourbefore someone would to able to see him.I saw him looking at his watch anddecided, since I was not busy with another patient,I would evaluate his wound.On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of thedoctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound..

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that heneeded to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that shewas a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we  talked, I asked if she would beupset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knewwho he was, that she had notrecognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him,'And you still go every morning, even though shedoesn't know who you are?'
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumpson my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is,has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails,sometimes there is one that comesalong that has an important message..This one I thought I could share with you. The happiest people don't necessarilyhave the best of everything;they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did..

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
But how to dancein the rain.'We are all getting OlderTomorrow may be our turn.

Our Daily Blessings

My hubby had a heart by-pass surgery and just as I was driving the children to madrasah today from the hospital - I kept smilling to myself and laugh with the children listening to their conversation and keep counting my blessings for having them and many of Allah's blessings. The thought of my husband health condition as a mishap has never crossed my mind. In fact I put my trust in Allah and felt that somehow it was a blessing in disguise because He has provided us with plenty;

• - we wish that they will be caring and loving to one another and so they are - that's a blessing, Alhamdulillah
• - we wish that they'll be best of friends and so they are - another blessing ya Allah
• - we wish that they'll will always say simple "thank you" and "please" so they do - Alhamdulillah
• - we wish that they'll be considerate to others and especially their own family members -  Alhamdulillah they try
• - we wish that they'll be responsible Muslims and try their best to do their basic responsibilities...Alhamdulillah they try their best
• - we wish that they each will grow up to be Allah's faithful servants, insya'Allah we hope they will be
• - we wish that we'll not be worried about the roof above our heads, Subhanallah He has showered us with more than we need
• - we wish that we'll always have enough food on our table, Mashallah He provides us with more than enough
• - we wish that we'll be showered with good health - Alhamdulillah He gave us reminders and early warning for us to have better health :)

.
Insya'Allah we certainly are forever in gratitude to Allah for all the blessings Allah has showered upon us and we are confident He will always watch after us. For everything that may look like tribulations we are very sure it is a blessing in disguise. Insya'Allah whether we realised it or not it is for the better. May our life continue to be filled with His blessings always...Ameen\

Do You Know? It is a dream...

Peace be to all...Alhamdulillah, I had finally published a book for children. I had always wanted to write and "talk" to children to inspire them to read and be happy and always be in gratitute towards what they have in life. Never imagined that my first book will be about the Prophets.

As I reflected upon this journey, I had in a way been wishing for it unconciously and spoken about it many times but the doubt of being able to accomplish it had been overwhelming. The ideas were aplenty but the tasks seemed too laborious. What actually help was a simple formula ~ having a dream and believe that Allah will ease the way because you are doing it for Him and noone else. :)

The belief that Allah will show me the path has always been at the back of my mind, and I know every step I take is due to His blessings. The positive thinking that I have to surround myself with is due to His Grace and Mercy for He is the only one that can make or break me. At the end of the day having that trust make my wish is His command.

Now that the book is printed, I know the journey ahead is still not over...it is time for me to eat lots of humble pie. I must and always remember that without the wisdom and the ability He has given me - I will not be able to be His tool in delivering the messages that I wish to deliver to others.

I hope and I pray that I will not be arrogant, to accept feedback and criticism from others along the way and be willing to accept them constructively with open arms. That He will provide me with the patience and wisdom to handle them ~ for I am not perfect and i am just one of the many writers who are trying to reach out to others.

The experience of launching the book had in itself shown me that just writing the book is no big deal - when famous writers sold books in thousands a day, my book managed only in tens ... but for that every book that is sold - i hope and i pray that the stories will reach to thousands of hearts and listening ears...it is not the glory that i am looking for (Glory be to Allah) but the values and the blessings of Allah that i wish to gather.

Thus my wish is to continue this journey and pray that He will show me the right path, the path of those whom He has favoured, insya'Allah...Ameen

Meeting datelines again...

Peace be to all... Last week had been an active week. Alhamdulillah ... I am now reflecting and looking at it from a 3rd person view. While waiting in a dark at my daughter's sch carpark. During my previous life abt a few months ago I wld be upset and angered w my daughter for not informing me that she will b later than usual.-  it is 9:30pm now and the school carpark do not have street lights.

However, I m ever in gratitude now that Allah has provided me a peaceful mind that has helped me find an alternative instead of getting angry. Alhamdulillah I was able to take the challenges; eventhough I m no longer working 9 to 5. I have the liberty to take projects that I love and feel will benefit me in my own development and so I had a dateline to meet last week and my laptop went dead twice! Yes after I sent it for service took it and it failed on me again. So I had to send it for repair again. Did I panicked - I need it to finish my project. Aaargh!!!

Alhamdulillah - I was grateful still cos I had another laptop to work on and was able to take my hard disk out of my laptop to continue my work. What I did was to ask the technician about my files in the laptop, whether I can retrieve it? She then helped me to take my hard disk out. To me that was the price for not getting angry-a clear mind to think and a solution to my predicament :)) Along the way, I learned many things that I had wanted to learn and worked things out to complete my project;

1. Challenges usually arised for you to pause and check what u r doing is right
2. To evaluate your work and seek His guidance so that u will not go astray
3. To provide you time to do your other 'responsibility' that u might have neglect bcos u r too engrossed
4. VERY IMPORTANT - do not rush - u tend to make lots of unnecessary mistakes when u rush
5. To look for altenatives to enjoy the break instead of feeling frustrated for not being able to continue with the task
6. Allah is Al-Wajid (The Resourceful) - how much time u have in your hand will not allow u to complete the task lest He provides u the resources and the ability to complete your task.

When my computer came back - the company home delivered it to me because it still under warranty - the delivery man asked me if I wished to fill up their complain form (because I had to send it for service twice). I declined, to me complaining is like a disease, it will stick to you and repeat it self. Whatever I write will be like a dua, a self-prophecy which I don't want to repeat, And so i thanked him and took my laptop just grateful that I got it back.

In retrospective, previously when I was an executive I wld just get angry and be at lost as how to continue w my work (at least for a while until - i was calm enuf to find a solution) and continously complain but do whatever i can still, until I got it back. So very unproductive and a waste of energy and time. The challenges kept coming back because i complained a lot instead of using the time to evaluate myself.

If there is such a thing as "stress is good" well it is not so for me - pushing away the choleric I once was. I m comfortable at being peacefully phlegmatic at this stage of my life. Rush will angered me and the devil will take opportunity to pounch on me and make me look out for faults. Adrenaline is only good for me when I am exercising ... it helps burn fats...hehehe... but it does not serve me well when I m doing work or maybe it does when the energy is used positively.

Complaining, is another devil that I don't wish to get involved with. Once you like it - it will stick to you like a leech and will keep sucking up until you kill it or remove it. I don't want to waste my time and energy in it so i don't indulge in it.

So what actually help me meet my dateline as usual is the thought that Allah will ease my journey, if what I am doing is meant for me to be successful in it. If not...then there are reasons that I know not and only He knows...All praise be to Allah - Alhamdulillah - may Allah provide me the wisdom to resolve my challenges rather than complaining. Ameeen.

Japanese boy teaches lesson in sacrifice

Published on ShanghaiDaily.com (http://www.shanghaidaily.com/)
http://www.shanghaidaily.com/article/?id=467066&type=Opinion

Japanese boy teaches lesson in sacrifice
Created: 2011-3-24 0:17:31

EDITOR'S note:
THIS letter, written by Vietnamese immigrant Ha Minh Thanh working in Fukushima as a policeman to a friend in Vietnam, was posted on New America Media on March 19. It is a testimonial to the strength of the Japanese spirit, and an interesting slice of life near the epicenter of Japan's crisis at the Fukushima nuclear power plant. It was translated by NAM editor Andrew Lam, author of "East Eats West: Writing in Two Hemispheres." Shanghai Daily condensed it.

Brother,
How are you and your family? These last few days, everything was in chaos. When I close my eyes, I see dead bodies. When I open my eyes, I also see dead bodies.

Each one of us must work 20 hours a day, yet I wish there were 48 hours in the day, so that we could continue helping and rescuing folks.

We are without water and electricity, and food rations are near zero. We barely manage to move refugees before there are new orders to move them elsewhere.

I am currently in Fukushima, about 25 kilometers away from the nuclear power plant. I have so much to tell you that if I could write it all down, it would surely turn into a novel about human relationships and behaviors during times of crisis.

People here remain calm - their sense of dignity and proper behavior are very good - so things aren't as bad as they could be. But given another week, I can't guarantee that things won't get to a point where we can no longer provide proper protection and order.

They are humans after all, and when hunger and thirst override dignity, well, they will do whatever they have to do. The government is trying to provide supplies by air, bringing in food and medicine, but it's like dropping a little salt into the ocean.

Brother, there was a really moving incident. It involves a little Japanese boy who taught an adult like me a lesson on how to behave like a human being.

Last night, I was sent to a little grammar school to help a charity organization distribute food to the refugees. It was a long line that snaked this way and that and I saw a little boy around 9 years old. He was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

It was getting very cold and the boy was at the very end of the line. I was worried that by the time his turn came there wouldn't be any food left. So I spoke to him. He said he was at school when the earthquake happened. His father worked nearby and was driving to the school. The boy was on the third floor balcony when he saw the tsunami sweep his father's car away.

I asked him about his mother. He said his house is right by the beach and that his mother and little sister probably didn't make it. He turned his head and wiped his tears when I asked about his relatives.
The boy was shivering so I took off my police jacket and put it on him. That's when my bag of food ration fell out. I picked it up and gave it to him. "When it comes to your turn, they might run out of food. So here's my portion. I already ate. Why don't you eat it?"

The boy took my food and bowed. I thought he would eat it right away, but he didn't. He took the bag of food, went up to where the line ended and put it where all the food was waiting to be distributed.
I was shocked. I asked him why he didn't eat it and instead added it to the food pile. He answered: "Because I see a lot more people hungrier than I am. If I put it there, then they will distribute the food equally."
When I heard that I turned away so that people wouldn't see me cry.

A society that can produce a 9-year-old who understands the concept of sacrifice for the greater good must be a great society, a great people.

Well, a few lines to send you and your family my warm wishes. The hours of my shift have begun again.
Ha Minh Thanh

In sickness or in health is still a blessing...

Peace be to all...the wonder of the technology is amazing...u can wish your friends who are sick to get well soon, birthdays and what nots without even meeting them or calling them. I am all for it - that is why I am so techno-friendly - definitely not a freak cos I can live without it and snuggle with a book instead.

I like it because i don't need to meet ppl or bother them on the phone and yet keep in touch. Hehehe ~ I like - I don't need to visit and bother you when you are sick and yet I can wish you well and ask you how you are doing. To me that is a blessing too bcos personally I dont like to meet ppl when I am sick ...it is so not comfortable.

Well just as the holidays looms it will be followed by the flu bugs...Alhamdullilah my family was able to escape many instances and I can count in one hand the number of times my children got fever or flu last year - once or maybe twice. And this year we were greeted with it in January...I m not complaining but as compared to others we are far more blessed. Added to that it usually dont last more than a week...so we are ever thankful. Especially since we took Mila (chia seeds) and bought it online from http://lifemax.net/saria we have been blessed with healthier food since. Alhamdulillah!
To me getting sick is still a blessing ...just about a month ago I was reading my friends FB updates and wishing them - get well soon...and at the back of my mind I was wondering when was the last time I caught a flu and feeling dreadful like they did...it seems ages and I was feeling bad for not feeling sick. Yeah! Crazy me! Well I remembered a saying that say sickness is for a way for Allah to test you and to bring you closer to Him...guess I was jealous. Hahaha...stupid jealousy...so in a way I was wishing to get sick? Guess what? My wish is His command? I got it...after looking after my feverish son for a day...He got well the day after without coughing or runny nose but my eldest daughter and me got the full blown flu but for a few days...well I guess that goes to show Allah knows we can endure better. It makes you appreciate your good health better, it reminded you of His many blessings giving you a painless body that allows you to move freely and doing your chores easily.

And yet i am ever thankful for all that, i know of someone who's family is suffering one sickness after another and yet they stood steadfast and stay positive throughout their challenges. The only examples I had seen in my family were my own parents and parent-in-law. Alhamdullilah...now that years had passed I could barely remembered the challenges that we faced, I supposed we were able to handle it and carry-on with our lives.

And as the clock turns...it will be soon our turn, insha'Allah I hope we will try our best to keep fit and stay healthy and not be a burden to our children and keep thinking of what to eat! Get a life! I dont really like it when ppl posted pictures of food on FB aren't there any better things to do than eat ... Food is what makes you...aahh... let's not talk about food - we eat to live.

My wish is to meet Him when I m in the best state of Iman (and in Health i.e. I did not cause any misgivings to my body bcos of what I ate or do to it), insha'Allah....Ameen...

May Allah provides us with good health to bring us closer to Him, insha'Allah...Ameeen....

First Posted in Multiply on Jan 21, '11

Resources
Health and Medicine in the Islamic Tradition: Change and Identity (Health/Medicine and the Faith Traditions)

The Magic of Chia: Revival of an Ancient Wonder Food

Link to Chia Seeds and its benefits http://lifemax.net/saria/mila

The Scholar and The Needy

Peace be to all...

During my volunteer work, I have the chance to meet students who are scholars and those who need help in their studies (the needy).

In order to help those needy students a tutoring session is conducted by volunteers to help the children who came for the sessions.

Sadly, tho we have many volunteers - very few needy students came for assistance - I guess they are not needy afterall to forego the free services that the enthusiastic volunteers are offering. Many of these volunteers came from top schools in Singapore and wish to contribute their time in helping others. Tho it is part of their school curricular requirements, these students can choose various vocations to meet the requirements and they chose tutoring.

During these sessions I was able to observe the difference between the scholars and the needy.

• The scholars are willing to take challenges, while the needy squirm when given one. For example, most of these students volunteer had never done tutoring before and yet when given the task they look forward to making sure they help their tutee understood what was being taught. The tutee when given an extra task to do that will help in their learning, refused to do and even squirmed at the task, eventho after doing it - they attained marked improvement but ironically they are reluctant to repeat the act even after knowing it works!
• The scholars will prepare what u gave them by the end of the day. The needy ignored the task even if u gave them a week.
• The Scholars will come early before the session, the needy will absent him/herself when she pleased.
• The scholars consider academic excellence as a given (must score A), the needy will be glad if she gets a pass.
• The Scholars not only excel in academic but also in sports and other activities, the needy are forbidden to join any extra curricular activities by their parents with reason that their children need to spend more time studying. Many of the needy parents have a misconception that extra curricular activities is a waste of time and yet they did not encourage their children to read story books either, thinking studying can only be done via the textbooks.
• The scolars get good nutrition and healthy food, the needy spent money on buying candies and junk food.

The differences are great as such it is understood why the scholars turned out to be scholars and the needy remains as a needy. In my work, I tried my best to educate the needy children and abolished many misconceptions and try my best to establish right attitude and principle. However, at the end of the day...those who managed to get out of their "needy" group are those who are able to break free from their norms and persevere when faced with challenges. These needy children have the potential to be scholars too only if they are steadfast and willing to take the Big leap to make the difference.

Insha'Allah - may Allah shows them the way and provide them with all the providence that they need. Ameeen....

Recommended Books
Developing Thinking and Understanding in Young Children

Caring and Sharing: Becoming a Peer Facilitator

Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery

Raising a Thinking Child: Help Your Young Child to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along with Others

Raising Thinking Children and Teens: Guiding Mental and Moral Development

Raising a Thinking Child Workbook: Teaching Young Children How to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along with Others

Raising a Thinking Preteen: The "I Can Problem Solve" Program for 8- to 12- Year-Olds

Building Thinking Skills, Level 2


Think About It!: Thinking Skills Activities for Years 3 and 4 (Nace/Fulton S.)



Dollars For Scholars--The Autobiography of Dr. Irving A. Fradkin, Founder of Citizens' Scholarship

Foundation of America Negation Raising: Logic Form and Linguistic Variation