My Wishes should my time comes...

This Ramadan especially had made me think of the day I will return to the creator, the next phase of my life and the end of my physical life. My ruh going through the next phase of her life as one of Allah's creation called human 😔. That I should write my thoughts and let my family knows my wishes upon my leave to the next phase of my life ...

I wish to leave in Ramadan on a Friday at night (if I have a choice that is 😊) it will be even awesome if it is in one of the Holy cities Makkah or Madinah. Yes, my wishful thinking.

At home - I wish for the Quran to be read by all that present or at least listen to the readings of the Quran. Reading of the Quran by Mishari Rashid with the reading of the English translation by Picktal. Yeah, I wish for everyone to read the Quran but I have to be realistic so for those who do not wish to - can at least listen to the reading and the meaning instead of sitting and talking about whatever.

That day I wish ... I will return with Iman, did my taubat prayer and had some amal left as a legacy for others to carry-on using them so as to provide nutrition for me during my stay in alam bazarkh... insha'Allah. May Allah fulfil my wishes. 

Being a new mother again...

﷽‬

الحمد لله ربّ العالمين

 "All the praises and thanks be to God who is the Lord of the universes" 

We decided to be foster parents to a girl last July, the day came for us to pick her up from her school. I saw the worried face on the little girl. I talked to her and asked her how she felt. She seems anxious but aware of what had happened. 

She was under foster care since she was three, the current foster family had decided to give her up due to unforeseen circumstances. She explained to us what the family told her and even though I could sense she might not believe it, she kept repeating them so that it will be the reason for the change.

Her things were sent to our home before she came, she was well taken care of - her basic needs were more than necessary. We only need to add another set of school uniform because we just want her to have a spare.

The first day, she told me she wanted to learn how to draw, I told her that can be arranged when we had kept all her belongings and settled her for dinner. After shower and dinner we sat down and I showed her a book on basic drawing... however, I realised - it looks simple and easy for me, but not for a seven-year-old.

So thankful for the old dot-matrix printing paper that I hoarded - it's thin enough to be tracing paper! So I asked her what she wanted to draw - she showed me a picture of a girl in a book that I had shared with her earlier. So the simple tracing lesson began. I clipped the paper on the book and let her traced the picture out - it works! 

!الحمد لله ربّ العالمين

The first-day experience went well and she slept at the recommended bed-time. I was famished and wondered if I am capable of taking another child. I reminded myself of our intention, to give her an opportunity to live in a stable home that will provide for her the care and love that will help her to grow into an independent adult. There is no ideal home and we will show her our imperfections - so may Allah show us the way. 

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ طُوبَىٰ لَهُمۡ وَحُسۡنُ مَـَٔابٍ۬ 

Those who believe and work righteous works, for them is bliss and a happy resort. (Al-Rad,13:29) 

My children came home one by one after she had gone to bed. They were quite anxious about getting another foster sister. We had talked and discussed about it - they are agreeable and did inform us that they may not be that helpful in looking after her. We told them - we make do with whatever, the time they can contribute in helping to look after her when we are busy, insha'Allah.