To forgive and to forget easily...that is my wish

Peace be to all and may our days ahead be filled with Allah's blessings as always. Alhamdulillah (All Praise be to Allah) am grateful to be healthy and alive as the rain showers down and cool the neighbourhood. Am ever in gratitude to Allah for making my heart feel light and easy, for once again showering me with the peace and tranquality that I am ever so thankful for. :)

However, there were days when my heart felt heavy and restless, strangely and ironically I usually felt that way over some petty issues and not over major or heavy issues. For example, I felt calm and relief or at peace when there was death in the family. I observed, listened and prayed for directions when there was a calamity or heavy issues that we had to go thru. But i will get angry when someone pestered me or made petty request  or asked too many questions or irritate me for no reasons. Silly me - letting little things disturbed my peace and tranquality. >3

These little episodes would bring me into reflection and depression mode for days (sometimes) just bcos I was not able to put things into perspective for that short-period of a few seconds/minutes. Jus bcos my brain mal-function and short-circuited itself at that moment all the -ve emotions rush into it and filled it up. As a result, I had to surge through my reserved energies and sourced out ways to get back my +ve emotions to cancel all those negativity - to raise myself up again. Plenty of prayers and knowing that everything comes from Allah helped a lot. I had to realise that only Allah will make things easy for me and anytime, anywhere I am at His Mercy to always be able to be in my best behaviour - I must remember Him. :)

Failing to be under control during this short episodes was simply because of my arrogance and ignorance of thinking too highly of myself that I get irritated and angry over petty stuff. I was not able to forgive the person who irritated me (at least at that point) and forget about what he or she did immediately or easily - that caused me to blow and open-up my emotional bank for negativity to rush into and filled it up.

It's plain stupid - we usually think that we are better than others that usually led us to be irritated. When we felt we can make better decision, drive better, do things better, able to say kinder things and what's not - these thoughts will then led us to be upset that the other party was not doing things according to our standard. Hah! We forgot WHO gives us the capacities to do these things better than others - thus the arrogance and the ego (and syaitan whispers) won over us that equalized into anger and ingratitude (nauzubillah).

Alhamdulillah, now I can write it down and explain to myself what happened - it is nice to be able to explain it but in reality we always forget to forgive and forget these actions that irritate us especially when we are tired or stressed- we will be caught off guard. Oh ya... u can blame it on syaitan who is ever ready to pounce on you, when u let your guard off ... i.e. by forgetting your Creator even for that instance. I realised that what I need to do is to be in constance rememberance of Allah, whenever things poke at my emotions instead of getting angry i need to seek forgiveness from Him and seek His assistance to make things easy for me to handle, insya'Allah I m sure we will be better at handling it. I truly hope I will remember these things :), insya'Allah.

Yes...that is my wish for this coming Ramadan, to be able to forgive and forget immediately all the things that will  irritate, angered, or just simply due to my ignorance on anything and anyone...may Allah showers me with more than what I am capable of ... For He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful. Insya'Allah.

Oh! Allah please help me in remembering your attributes, so that I will constantly realise my weakness and seek your assistance to overcome it ... Ameen.

RAMADAN MUBARAK EVERYONE!!! MAY THIS RAMADAN BE BETTER THAN BEFORE, INSYA'ALLAH!

• The parable of those who take protectors other than Allah is that of the Spider, who builds (to itself) a house; but truly the flimsiest of houses― is the Spider's house if they but knew. (41)
• Verily Allah doth know of (everything) whatever that they call upon besides Him: and He is Exalted (in power), Wise. (42)
• And such are the Parables We set forth for mankind, but only those understand them who have Knowledge. (43)

• Allah created the heavens and the earth in true (proportions): verily in that is a Sign for those who believe. (44)
• Recite what is sent of the Book by inspiration to thee, and establish Regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the greatest (thing in life) without doubt. And Allah knows the (deeds) that ye do. (45)
• And dispute ye not with the People of the Book, except with means better (than mere disputation) unless it be with those of them who inflict wrong (and injury): but say "We believe in the Revelation which has come down to us and in that which came down to you; Our God and your God is one; and it is to Him we bow (in Islam)." (46)
• And thus (it is) that We have sent down the Book to thee. So the People of the Book believe therein, as also do some of these (pagan Arabs): and none but Unbelievers reject Our Signs. (47)
• And thou wast not (able) to recite a Book before this (Book came) nor art thou (able) to transcribe it with thy right hand: in that case, indeed, would the talkers of vanities have doubted. (48)
• Nay, here are Signs self-evident in the hearts of those endowed with knowledge: and none but the unjust reject Our Signs. (49)
• Yet they say: "Why are not Signs sent down to him from his Lord?" Say: "The Signs are indeed with Allah: and I am indeed a clear Warner." (50)
• And is it not enough for them that We have sent down to thee the Book which is rehearsed to them? Verily in it is Mercy and Reminder to those who believe. (51)
• Say: "Enough is Allah for a Witness between me and you: He knows what is in the heavens and on earth. And it is those who believe in vanities and reject Allah, that will perish (in the end)." (52)

~ Surah Angkabut

Nothing is perfect even how hard u try ...

Met a couple fren who have decided to retire at 45 eventho they were running a successful business. Yes, they decided to sell off their business and begin their retirement early. their reason is simple; they do not wish for a big house, neither do they wish for a new car ... all they wish is to live the rest of their life simply, peacefully and hope their children will be successful in their life.

It's time for them to take care of their health and grow old gracefully. Now is the time for them to catch up with what they had missed when they were busy running their business. Now they no longer worry whether its Monday, Tuesday or any day for them to rush tru it and not knowing what and why they are rushing for. But there are still challenges bcos it's life and that nothing is perfect ... and they can take it in a stride bcos it is not as stressful as before...

Alhamdulillah, All Praises Be to Allah...it's nice to hear about others who are pursuing their beliefs and not rush for this world anymore ... at times i wonder if it is worth to rush tru life and get so worked up and stressed out. Why can't we just relax and take things as they come along with ease and let it go when it's time? Try your best? What is your best may be different from what is define by others...to me trying your best is what is the best way you can do in order to please Allah (within your capacity and knowledge). thus it is between u and the Creator and nothing else matter. For Allah make things easy or remove sadness when it is meant for us.

اَلَّلهُمَّ لَاسَهْلَ إِلَّا مَاجَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً
وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلَ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلاً
Allahumma la sahla illama ja ‘altahu sahlawwa anta taj’alul hazna itha sh’ita sahla."
{O Allah! Nothing is easy except what you have made easy, if you wish, you can make the difficult easy.}

The doa shared by a fren aptly put things into perspective...at times when i find a situation difficult to hanlde I know only Allah can make it easy for me. Well i supposed, it's bcos we r not perfect and we will never be. Try as hard as we can the challenges - can pull you down and get the worst out of you. thereafter u try and lift yourself up again - source out for all the +ve vibes around you to revive yourself again. ~  Yes, at times it is suffocating and u want out  ~ but u know u have to stay bcos u have not excel in the challenge yet. even tho u feel u had tried your best... And so u will b given another chance and be tested again and again (the scenario may be different but the concept of the challenge remain the same - hahaha sounds like a maths problem) and until u get it right or realised how to get it right - it will stop. And then after a while u will forget and the cycle will be repeated until u bcome wiser ... or it's time for u to leave this world.

InsyaAllah - all i wish is my faith will remain in tact in whatever challenges i m facing and May Allah keep us under His guidance and keep sending us reminders and shows us the right path ... the cleansing process will never be done until your final cleansing in Akhirah ... i dreamt of death, my own (wish it will b as such), my family members and of others. Alhamdulillah nothing unpleasant or gory. I had loved ones who had passed away right in front of my eyes ... even tho the experience was real... i could never imagine what goes thereafter and seem a bit at lost each time. bcos every time it happened there seem to be an over flowing sense of relief. i wonder if it was because i had expected it or was relief for the burden of this world was over for that person...

Are we truly prepared for the life after? i doubt i will ever be, even how hard i try (not that i ever did- at least not my best) i know i will never truly be prepared for it bcos i m not perfect and that thought is actually consoling bcos ONLY the Creator is perfect ...  My only wish is that Allah will shower me with His Mercy and Forgiveness ... and that i will accept whatever is my fate willingly, insya'Allah.

Confession of a non-tiger (but tired) mom

Was looking tru my FB notes when I came accross this posting...that i had posted 13 May 2011. Wonder why I did not post it here? Well here it is - it was originally titled "Confession of a non-tiger mom" in my reflection as to what type of mom I am due to the exam fever that most mom was having in May...I am always grateful during this time of the year, every year that I don't get the fever but am happy to see my children doing the things they usually do and not be affected by the exams... Alhamdulillah

Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth: the likeness of His light is as a niche wherein is a lamp; the lamp is in glass; the glass is as though it were a star brilliant; lit from a tree blest, an olive, neither in the east nor in the west; well-nigh its oil would glow forth even though fire touch it not. light upon light. Allah guideth unto His light whomsoever He will: And Allah propoundeth similitudes for mankind: verily Allah is of everything the Knower. (An-Nur:35)

Allah guideth unto His light whomsoever He will ~ this knowledge has been the sole reason why I decided not to be a "Tiger mom" and of course many more humble experiences that lead me to change in the way I bring up my children since about 12 years ago after Alia was born. The first 5-6 was a trying learning experience, not so sweet but the discovery was ... speechless!
 I used to belief that one of the best method in bringging up a child - tru discipline and at times drilling. I still believe in discipline but not drilling. When i was in early stage of my teaching career, one of the techniques (or maybe the only 1) that i know of is tru repetition and drilling - so that was what I applied to my students, everyday for 5-10 minutes before lesson I made them (primary 1 students) read pages from their dictionary (with pictures) and Alhamdulillah (All praises be to Allah) at the end of the year all of them managed to read fluently. Due to the lack of resources and limited time drilling and repitition worked. But it was simply not enjoyable and i can't vouch that they knew what they were reading.

When I had my first child, Arina, I tried accelarated learning on her. It was tedious both of us don't enjoy it much. I could not keep up with the requirement...so i ended up playing with her most of the time and let the learning experience be incidental...(confession of a lazy mom)...exposing her to as many play experiences as i could...she was able to read on her own by four. Alhamdulillah - Phew! that was a relief... She started childcare at 2 bcos i was working there - left teaching position in primary school. So she had an early start and exposure to variety learning experience. the teachers were dedicated and she enjoyed her time spent at the childcare...

my 2nd child, Athira came 21 months after the 1st...she learned whatever her eldest sisters did minus the accelerated learning - by tt time i fell in love with the techniques of learning tru play. So everyday water-play was a must. they get their water-play time in our bathroom everyday without fail...weekly sand-play at least 3x a week at the playground. physical-play everyday for at least an hour...when they were lucky...they get to play in the rain. toys were aplenty...stackers, shapes, books and whatever we can turn into toys. the walls were covered with charts, the furnitures were pasted with word-cards. The house was child-proof and we only tidy-up when there was guest :). She joined her sister in the childcare at 3... And she only showed us that she could read to us loudly when she was six...but her reading level was just as good as her sister who was 8 at that time. Alhamdulillah! Another relief...

while bringging up the 2 of them - apart from playing with them i did send them to additional quran reading classes when i felt they did not have enuf at the childcare...swimming classes (part of the childcare activity). there were just not enuf energy... so i toned down because all of us were getting too tired, and it pained my heart to see them suffer...but i did not know better...so i still went on and most of the time i was high strung (patience was always running low) and yet i persisted...haiz... but i never had any inclination to send them for music lesson maybe because i m toned-deaf, with a voice that croaked...music was definitely not in my blood...so they never got it :( ... until they went to sch and got it from schools... we never send them for any supplementary classes either...any art activities...we did it at home...any cooking lessons...it's home-based...additional computer lessons...it's at home...tumbling and gym activity...we have it in our living room. Any science and maths activity, we did it in the parks and playgrounds... Basically most of the stuff are home-based or outdoor with mom & dad - whatever activity we felt they need - we exposed it to them ourselves.

then came Alia, our bouncy baby 34 months after Athira followed by Amsyar 23 months after Alia...their learning experience were changed due to the changed of mindset and experience...(next chapter)
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At a very early age our main aim was to let them be independent...so we started to train them to eat, dresses, drink, sleep and whatever routine they can do on their own as soon as possible. we had high expectations ... but had to moderate it down to their level...there were lots of tug and war and time-out for both parents and child. When they started primary school they were expected to be responsible for their own studies and school stuff. We seldom checked their bags and we only helped them with their homework when they seek assistance. I only went tru their bags when I saw it balooned and i could only suggest items to be taken out... but at the end of the day...it was their decision. As far as we were concerned that they should breezed thru their primary school education (no less than A) without drilling and tuition other than our assistance and facilitation. :)

Arina, was very good at giving feedback and shared her thoughts, so we received complains from her as young as she was in primary 1 (i had to see the principal to lodge in her complains) but that was good bcos we knew what was happening...she breezed tru primary school and went to 1 of the girls' secondary schools, did extremely well in her 'O' level and now in JC1...she is on her way to become an intern in one of the research department in A*. Insha'Allah hope she will find her niche there.

Athira preferred to keep her thoughts to herself... and just met our requirements in scoring A's (with ease)...but we still received complains from her teacher as early as when was in P2...she did not complete her homework, or more like felt it was not important to do it - because teacher said "do it if you have the time" or something like that - (yes she could but its her time!) So the teacher felt she could do better and if she put in more effort...thereafter i decided not to go for any parent-teacher meet :)). So a year later, she was discovered to be among the top 1% of the Gifted programme students ... so she changed school at P4...and teachers still complained...scored extremely well in her PSLE and went to a girls' secondary school with an IP program. So she need not sit for her 'O' levels exams :). Now at year 3, i finally see her actually studying for her exams...and so I asked if she is doing well in her studies this year... our conversation sounds something like this:
Me: How is your studies this year?
Athira: not so good
Me: define what is "not so good"?
Athira: I did not score full marks for any of my test this year...
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As a non-tiger mom - I told her just to try her best and apply what she had learned... to me scoring full marks in a test is not important what is important is applying those knowledge and what does it meant to you. If studying is just meant to score full marks... then we have not done enuf for them to understand the concept of seeking knowledge  - and that ... Allah guided unto His light whomsoever He will... and this goes for everything that you will learn in life, insya'Allah...

Live with laughter and love with all your heart.......

Anonymous ~ received this story via email
It was a busy raining morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.I took his vital signs and had him take a seat,knowing it would be over an hourbefore someone would to able to see him.I saw him looking at his watch anddecided, since I was not busy with another patient,I would evaluate his wound.On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of thedoctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound..

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that heneeded to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that shewas a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we  talked, I asked if she would beupset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knewwho he was, that she had notrecognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him,'And you still go every morning, even though shedoesn't know who you are?'
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumpson my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is,has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails,sometimes there is one that comesalong that has an important message..This one I thought I could share with you. The happiest people don't necessarilyhave the best of everything;they just make the best of everything they have. I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did..

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
But how to dancein the rain.'We are all getting OlderTomorrow may be our turn.

Our Daily Blessings

My hubby had a heart by-pass surgery and just as I was driving the children to madrasah today from the hospital - I kept smilling to myself and laugh with the children listening to their conversation and keep counting my blessings for having them and many of Allah's blessings. The thought of my husband health condition as a mishap has never crossed my mind. In fact I put my trust in Allah and felt that somehow it was a blessing in disguise because He has provided us with plenty;

• - we wish that they will be caring and loving to one another and so they are - that's a blessing, Alhamdulillah
• - we wish that they'll be best of friends and so they are - another blessing ya Allah
• - we wish that they'll will always say simple "thank you" and "please" so they do - Alhamdulillah
• - we wish that they'll be considerate to others and especially their own family members -  Alhamdulillah they try
• - we wish that they'll be responsible Muslims and try their best to do their basic responsibilities...Alhamdulillah they try their best
• - we wish that they each will grow up to be Allah's faithful servants, insya'Allah we hope they will be
• - we wish that we'll not be worried about the roof above our heads, Subhanallah He has showered us with more than we need
• - we wish that we'll always have enough food on our table, Mashallah He provides us with more than enough
• - we wish that we'll be showered with good health - Alhamdulillah He gave us reminders and early warning for us to have better health :)

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Insya'Allah we certainly are forever in gratitude to Allah for all the blessings Allah has showered upon us and we are confident He will always watch after us. For everything that may look like tribulations we are very sure it is a blessing in disguise. Insya'Allah whether we realised it or not it is for the better. May our life continue to be filled with His blessings always...Ameen\