Peace be to all...
The joy of sharing with others - has no words to describe. I was humbled when I received this question from a concerned aunt, so I tot I share it with others who might be in the same situation. Some editing and changes is done for easy understanding.
Her question: I was told that your 3rd child has mild autistic but scores n her exam. My nephew is in P2 and also has mild autistic. Last Wed I met his parents and they informed us that he failed all his subjects.He can read well, but doesn't understand what he reads.I hope you can share with me how you help your daughter in her studies
....................................My reply.....................................
My daughter was not diagnosed as having mild autism by the expert. It was just my assumption tru observation using a checklist or probably to give myself excuses so that it is easier for me to accept the fact that she has learning challenges unlike her other 3 siblings. ;))
I think it will be fair if I tell u where she is coming from ...so it will b a long story. We noticed that she has a gift, she is very sensitive and is very good with her hands, she is good at drawing and arts stuff. Due to her sensitive nature she is easily disturbed and has low self esteem. It does not help when her other siblings are doing well in school when she could only get Bs at the most an occasionaly A for her favourite subject. Some of her teachers are the same teachers who taught her siblings and they cant help but to compare her with her other siblings. What help is the fact that I am not easily influenced by peer pressure or anyone for that matter. I choose not to attend parent-teacher meet and I told my children that what is important is they enjoy learning and school is just a phase in their life and prepare them for greater challenges ~ so relax it will be over soon.
I know most parents will not categorize their child as challenged when she can passed her exams and scored Bs. But I believe that primary education is easy and all children has the ability to excel esp in primary school, so her Bs was quiet worrying for us but we try our best to hide it and pray that she will excel and find her strength in other areas. Not because of the grades but because it dissipates the joy of learning bcos it is my belief that learning should be an enjoyable experience not sufferings...so seeing her struggle is a pain.
Well what I did 1st was to identify her weakness and work on her strength. Her weakness was in reading, she was not phonetically developed. It could also be our fault, she changed 3 pre-schools when she was young. Too many changes was pretty bad for a young child. So she was not able to make the sound of 2 consonants when they are joined together. She had to attend remedial bcos of her reading disability. We then send her for educational testing and she went tru 3 months of hand-eye coordination exercises and therapy. Google for "hand-eye coordination activities" if u want to know them. That improves her reading and she did not need to go for the remedial, but she was still struggling and could not focus on her work.
Maths was a challenge because she used to take a long route to make connections. we had to break the concepts into smaller and simpler steps before she could graps it. Understanding of Maths concepts r important...I would not allow it to pass. We had to go tru them again and again until it clicked...so lots of patience and time needed. At time due to my weak patience, I lost it...we will then take a break or I'd seek the help of my 2 other girls. So she has more ppl to turn to and that really help. We use lots of manipulatives and concrete examples to help her.
Understanding comprehension was a struggle because she has yet to learn the joy of reading, could not predict and poor at making inferences. Even when she watched movies, she could not understand the emotions shown by the ppl. So we exposed her to various types of books, more for the joy of reading than for comprehension passages. We choose books that are humourous and deals with emotions. Will share with her the books we read and asked her to share with us what she reads. Ghost stories are banned...I personally don't believe scaring my children unnecessarily...and I told them they should not be scared of ghost bcos ghosts r scared of me...hehehe they agreed and are not attracted to such stories, even on TV, those vampires r not attractive to them at all. Alhamdullilah...
Art and Science r her favourite subject because she uses mind-maps and used lots of colours (she is an artist by nature) and can remember her facts quiet easily using this study technique.
We try our best not to pressure her and accepted her challenges and praised her for any achievement that she did. It was not tt difficult considering she still passed her exams and she has other talents. She needed lots of hugs and encouragement esp when she is moody and could not understand why she feels sad. However, being a girl, maturity helps too now she knows that she only has 1 more year of primary school education she has to study hard (which saddened me bcos her other siblings did not need to do it as hard as she does). Since both her elder sisters are in girls schools, she is targetting to enter an all-girls school too during her secondary years. So she has to set a very high target for herself and it seems quiet impossible...
But Alhamdullilah the big jump happened when she started taking MILA in September (will write to u on a separate note if u have not heard of it), The Omega3 content in the food help her to focus and can spend longer hours doing her work. She understands concepts easily and able to finish her work on time.
Her exams results are much better, she scored A for all the subjects except English, she only missed getting A by 3 marks! Now her target is "I m possible" and insha'Allah it will not be such a struggle anymore, she had since gained confidence and has more time to play and watched her favourite shows.
However, if your nephew is a good reader than, his problem might be different. If he had failed all his subjects, then it could be that he did not understand the concepts taught in the first place or he could just simply be bored stiff with what is being taught in school. These are the questions you will have to find out:
1.Is he allowed to study according to his learning style?
2.Does he unsderstand the Maths concepts? If not is the teaching methods used appropriate to his learning style?
3. Who helps him at home? Does that person knows the right teaching pedagogy to teach him?
4. In reading - googgle for 'comprehension strategies' or 'comprehension skills' - Used these techniques to help him in his reading. Start with picture reading if he has not develop his vocabulary or is not good at forming sentences. Talk more instead of reading and let him make sense of what he is talking. This will help in his composition. He could be thinking faster than he talks - geniuses are like that!
5. Is he taught using any study techniques that is appropriate to his age?
I seriously think - it is not the child who is at fault but what makes that child looks like a failure that need to be addressed. No child is born stupid, the stupid mistakes are made by those who assessed him. The problem and perception will be changed when these mistakes r identified and corrected. Only then will you be able to help the child find his true potential, insha'Allah.
Well, I think that is way tooo long...do feedback to me and you are welcome to ask more question 
All good comes from Allah, Apologies for any errors or mistakes.
Wsalam
