Written just after I left my last appointment on 7 August (last day of Ramadan)
Peace be to all... Alhamdulillah (all praises be to Allah), Allah has provided me with some time for me to continue this write-up for me to gain peace of mind after letting the loads off my shoulder.
Now its time for me to recuperate from an exhaustive full-time job. Though the job was manageable (when I am allowed to plan for it properly) the people management was beyond my capacity. I am thankful to Allah for guiding me and helping me to control my temper and my actions though I had some some bad days. Please forgive me and provide me the strength to improve, insha'Allah.
Knowing when to let go peacefully was what I had learnt, I had never taken a job or responsibility due to its monetary reward and will leave when I felt I was no longer capable of producing a good job (according to my standard). No regrets whatsoever - there were many learning points and reflective moments that I had encountered that made me forever in gratitude to Allah for putting me where I was.
It humbled me, when my incapability of producing the desired result had made me realised that I am not the "super" woman that I thought I was. Hahaha - my expectations of myself was too high, my ability of being an independent worker was shaken, my solitary work style was disturbed, my physical and mental health was challenged and my social skills was tested. After months of struggling, I felt abused and battered but am thankful for my faith, self-confident, self-esteem and moral values are still intact. :)
The decision to leave was made a few months after I started - you can call it self-prophecy and law of attractions - whatever! I did make an attempt to stay and try my best to make it bearable. However, knowing the fact that my life does not depend on it and my skills will be better utilised elsewhere help me make that decision quickly. I stayed longer than I had planned due to the fact that I did not want to demotivate my fellow team members. Just like me they were all over-worked and over-loaded because of poor-planning and last minute work-load. As soon as I saw some space that allow me to leave without adding their work-load I made the final call.
From then on ... my motivation was lifted up. I was able to put my work in order. Though another bulk of last minute work was given ... I managed to finish up what I needed to do. I had to slog until the very last minute before I stepped out of my office. Alhamdulillah - Leaving was my pleasure, even though I did not find another full-time position - I am not the least perturbed because I knew I needed some time to recuperate, lift my spirit up again, aid my wounded mental and physical health and be surrounded by lots of positive energies before I attempting another task.
While waiting for that suitable call, I am back to writing and doing part-time assignments. Thank you Allah for providing me with abundance opportunity to continue learning and discovering my good self through others. I know all that happened was written and I am just doing what I am capable of (it may not be as peaceful as others but it is my own way, my own time). All I hope is that I will always look up to You as my Guide - and seek Your Help to always be in gratitude for what You have in store for me...insha'Allah
Peace be to all... Alhamdulillah (all praises be to Allah), Allah has provided me with some time for me to continue this write-up for me to gain peace of mind after letting the loads off my shoulder.
Now its time for me to recuperate from an exhaustive full-time job. Though the job was manageable (when I am allowed to plan for it properly) the people management was beyond my capacity. I am thankful to Allah for guiding me and helping me to control my temper and my actions though I had some some bad days. Please forgive me and provide me the strength to improve, insha'Allah.
Knowing when to let go peacefully was what I had learnt, I had never taken a job or responsibility due to its monetary reward and will leave when I felt I was no longer capable of producing a good job (according to my standard). No regrets whatsoever - there were many learning points and reflective moments that I had encountered that made me forever in gratitude to Allah for putting me where I was.
It humbled me, when my incapability of producing the desired result had made me realised that I am not the "super" woman that I thought I was. Hahaha - my expectations of myself was too high, my ability of being an independent worker was shaken, my solitary work style was disturbed, my physical and mental health was challenged and my social skills was tested. After months of struggling, I felt abused and battered but am thankful for my faith, self-confident, self-esteem and moral values are still intact. :)
The decision to leave was made a few months after I started - you can call it self-prophecy and law of attractions - whatever! I did make an attempt to stay and try my best to make it bearable. However, knowing the fact that my life does not depend on it and my skills will be better utilised elsewhere help me make that decision quickly. I stayed longer than I had planned due to the fact that I did not want to demotivate my fellow team members. Just like me they were all over-worked and over-loaded because of poor-planning and last minute work-load. As soon as I saw some space that allow me to leave without adding their work-load I made the final call.
From then on ... my motivation was lifted up. I was able to put my work in order. Though another bulk of last minute work was given ... I managed to finish up what I needed to do. I had to slog until the very last minute before I stepped out of my office. Alhamdulillah - Leaving was my pleasure, even though I did not find another full-time position - I am not the least perturbed because I knew I needed some time to recuperate, lift my spirit up again, aid my wounded mental and physical health and be surrounded by lots of positive energies before I attempting another task.
While waiting for that suitable call, I am back to writing and doing part-time assignments. Thank you Allah for providing me with abundance opportunity to continue learning and discovering my good self through others. I know all that happened was written and I am just doing what I am capable of (it may not be as peaceful as others but it is my own way, my own time). All I hope is that I will always look up to You as my Guide - and seek Your Help to always be in gratitude for what You have in store for me...insha'Allah
سُوۡرَةُ الفَتْح
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
إِنَّا فَتَحۡنَا لَكَ فَتۡحً۬ا مُّبِينً۬ا (١) لِّيَغۡفِرَ لَكَ ٱللَّهُ مَا تَقَدَّمَ مِن ذَنۢبِكَ وَمَا تَأَخَّرَ وَيُتِمَّ نِعۡمَتَهُ ۥ عَلَيۡكَ وَيَہۡدِيَكَ صِرَٲطً۬ا مُّسۡتَقِيمً۬ا (٢) وَيَنصُرَكَ ٱللَّهُ نَصۡرًا عَزِيزًا (٣) هُوَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أَنزَلَ ٱلسَّكِينَةَ فِى قُلُوبِ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ لِيَزۡدَادُوٓاْ إِيمَـٰنً۬ا مَّعَ إِيمَـٰنِہِمۡۗ وَلِلَّهِ جُنُودُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِۚ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمً۬ا (٤)Surah Al-Fath
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Lo! We have given thee (O Muhammad) a signal victory, (1) That Allah may forgive thee of thy sin that which is past and that which is to come, and may perfect His favour unto thee, and may guide thee on a right path, (2) And that Allah may help thee with strong help - (3) He it is Who sent down peace of reassurance into the hearts of the believers that they might add faith unto their faith. Allah's are the hosts of the heavens and the earth, and Allah is ever Knower, Wise - (4)
