Living in Gratitude...: Will u pay someone to play with your child?

Peace be to all...Occasionally I have been asked by my juniors for advice ~ whether it is timely for them to register their child in a playgroup for a few hours a week. The child will usually be less than 2 years old and she (the mother) will have to sit in with her child during the program.
This will be my usual conversation with a mother ~

Me: "Are you willing to pay someone to play with your child? Are you willing to pay someone to teach you how to play with your child?"

Mother will usually laugh and said something like..."but u know what to do with your children, its different." (hmmm...and I tot i had a magic wand hidden somewhere, am i imagining things?)

"Yes, alhamdullilah I do (where is that magic wand so that i can pass it to her

) but don't tell me you don't know how to read to your child? you can't do simple art activity and play simple games with your child? I mean if you truly have the money and don't know how to use it googgle for activities that is appropriate for your child and buy her books and educational toys. At this age it is time for you to bond with your child. If you wish to get her to socialise, call a few frens and arrange for play dates...then all of you can have a sharing circle on how to raise your children."

I just can't take excuses but just to soften the blow I added, “However, if you truly feel that you need help to play with your child, do go ahead...there is no harm. What is your objective of sending her for the program?"

"She will learn to play; they will have art activities and reading program."...she stopped and thought for a while when she realised where i was taking her... to think aloud what she had said and she will then have to ask herself the above questions again. "hahaha - u got me..." she said.

Me: " Well, unless you need 'professionals' to teach you how to play with your child, then go for it...just to tell you a secret...u can get them all in the internet, just googgle for 'activities for babies or toddlers' and you'll get all the info for free. However, if you feel that the money will be well-spent as an investment for your child...pls do go ahead."

hmmm...I can actually offer my own children to play with her girl ... jus a tot...my children would surely enjoy it and can teach her how to play with her own child

but i don't usually make that offer unless u live nearby. But sadly this is what actually happen today, many parents have forgotten how to play or don't know how to play with their children. I guess they do need help and pay someone to help them play with their child.

Haiz....I just feel that there should be an institution that roll out licenses to parents who wishes to have babies and teach them how to play and take care of children before they are allowed to have one. I wrote a similar tots about 15 years ago in a newsletter and was reprimanded for thinking as such. Well, i still feel the same now.

Well, I know many of us get a maid to look after and play with our children, or those lucky ones have the grandparents and if you really feel the money is well spent please or there have no choice, so be it...I know in Singapore such program cost a bomb just because of their brand name. What they really do is to tell you how to play and bond with your child by providing some equipment to develop their motor skills...the rest is up to you. Basically these skills can be developed by allowing your child to play sand in the beaches, water in the swimming pool and the swings, climbers & slides in the playgrounds. We r so lucky here because there r so many playgrounds around our neighbourhood and parks. Unless of course your child is allergic to the water, sand & sun and need air-conditioned room...

When my children were young i used Teach Your Child: How to Discover and Enhance Your Child's Potential (DK Dr Miriam Stoppard) to guide me in doing appropriate activities and buying toys for my children.

Usually I ended the conversation by leaving the decision to her...to me, what best for your child is what you believe to be the best. I can't change or give you an answer. As parents it is your decision and once you had made that decision even if others are against it - make that decision the RIGHT one for you and your child...the rest will be decided tru Allah's blessings ...and be ever thankful for it, insha'Allah everything will fall into its rightful place.