Peace be to all...
Alhamdulillah, it has been a busy week and expecting for even busier months ahead. It has been about six months since I left my full-time job and decided to go into my semi-retirement position.
Along the way I had doubted my intentions and had tried to apply for another full-time positions but each time after I attended an interview and reflected upon it - I started to question myself. Why am I doing it? Do i really want another full-time job? Do I really want to be back in the rat-race? What happen to my semi-retirement plans? What was it that I want when I left my 'dream job' and decided that it had become a 'nightmare'?
Not so much about what I did but about how I felt trapped and suffocated for not being able to do things the way I want to. For having to follow protocol and playing a waiting game just to get my proposals accepted and approved. For not being able to progress and see your true potential developed further. For feeling like an 'old Quran' being put on a position because you were experienced and feeling the dust collecting in your head and yet not being able to brush it off. Who am I kidding?
Then it finally dawned on me that I have not given myself the chance to bloom in my new role. I have not seriously look into those new doors that are opening to me. I have yet to delve into those 'risks' and adventures that i had dream off when i planned for the next phase in my life...i began to realise that Allah had given me the opportunity earlier than I had planned for.
In retrospect, I had planned to leave my full-time position or get into my retirement plan at 45 but at 42, i already felt suffocated and had decided to leave. I guess my 'planning manager' go beserk for a while when she realised that it happened 3 years before date due, thus the doubt and the resistance to allow the plan to launch earlier.
Hahaha...now that I had demolished the wall of resistance, an overwhelming sense of relief came over me...Subhanallah, the picture is clearer and the road ahead is brighter. Insya'Allah (and I really meant it this time - if God willing) I will be fulfilling the next phase of my dream...to spend more time at home with my family, to be physically, mentally and spiritually there for them. In addition, to be able to do volunteer work and help others and also to seriously work towards making my retirement plan cruise smoothly and successfully...till I get bored again and form a new dream...
....hahahaha! Just can't resist it! ~ I m kidding (I seriously hope so).
Masha'Allah I hope and I pray ...I will hold steadfast to what I am doing being it rain or shine or snow or blizzard or stormy or nauzubillah... whatever challenges that I will face, may Allah provides me with the strength to persevere, insya'Allah...Ameen..
For whatever may come POSITIVE thinking is a must and the feeling of forever in GRATITUDE for what Allah has given me in this world...what is now crucial is what I will have to prepare for the REAL next phase of my life i.e. in the HEREAFTER... the life in this world is but a passe...when it's time...
Oh Allah - Guide us to the Right Path. (6) The Path of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the path) of those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray. (7) ~ Al-Fathiha Ameeen........
Alhamdulillah, it has been a busy week and expecting for even busier months ahead. It has been about six months since I left my full-time job and decided to go into my semi-retirement position.
Along the way I had doubted my intentions and had tried to apply for another full-time positions but each time after I attended an interview and reflected upon it - I started to question myself. Why am I doing it? Do i really want another full-time job? Do I really want to be back in the rat-race? What happen to my semi-retirement plans? What was it that I want when I left my 'dream job' and decided that it had become a 'nightmare'? Not so much about what I did but about how I felt trapped and suffocated for not being able to do things the way I want to. For having to follow protocol and playing a waiting game just to get my proposals accepted and approved. For not being able to progress and see your true potential developed further. For feeling like an 'old Quran' being put on a position because you were experienced and feeling the dust collecting in your head and yet not being able to brush it off. Who am I kidding?Then it finally dawned on me that I have not given myself the chance to bloom in my new role. I have not seriously look into those new doors that are opening to me. I have yet to delve into those 'risks' and adventures that i had dream off when i planned for the next phase in my life...i began to realise that Allah had given me the opportunity earlier than I had planned for.In retrospect, I had planned to leave my full-time position or get into my retirement plan at 45 but at 42, i already felt suffocated and had decided to leave. I guess my 'planning manager' go beserk for a while when she realised that it happened 3 years before date due, thus the doubt and the resistance to allow the plan to launch earlier. Hahaha...now that I had demolished the wall of resistance, an overwhelming sense of relief came over me...Subhanallah, the picture is clearer and the road ahead is brighter. Insya'Allah (and I really meant it this time - if God willing) I will be fulfilling the next phase of my dream...to spend more time at home with my family, to be physically, mentally and spiritually there for them. In addition, to be able to do volunteer work and help others and also to seriously work towards making my retirement plan cruise smoothly and successfully...till I get bored again and form a new dream...
....hahahaha! Just can't resist it! ~ I m kidding (I seriously hope so).Masha'Allah I hope and I pray ...I will hold steadfast to what I am doing being it rain or shine or snow or blizzard or stormy or nauzubillah... whatever challenges that I will face, may Allah provides me with the strength to persevere, insya'Allah...Ameen..
For whatever may come POSITIVE thinking is a must and the feeling of forever in GRATITUDE for what Allah has given me in this world...what is now crucial is what I will have to prepare for the REAL next phase of my life i.e. in the HEREAFTER... the life in this world is but a passe...when it's time...Oh Allah - Guide us to the Right Path. (6) The Path of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the path) of those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray. (7) ~ Al-Fathiha Ameeen........
No comments:
Post a Comment