When will my child be ready for childcare?

Peace be to all ... Missed my days working at childcare, I remembered on one occasion during my short stint working at a privately-run childcare. It was short because it was privately and poorly ran as such I could not forget the advice I gave to a young couple against putting their 18 mth old daughter in a childcare.

During that time, I was as young but considering I had 3 children and they had 1 - I considered myself older . I was the supervisor and they wanted to register their child in the childcare. I brought them to the 18month old group and let their child play with the children there and then chat with them.

The 1st question i asked them was: "Is there anyone looking after her at home when both of you are at work?"

The mother replied; "Yes, my MIL and FIL are home looking after her." I noticed the husband casted his eyes on the floor and avoid eye contact.

"Are they taking care of her well? I can see she is very bright and cheery," I added

"Yes, they do...we are just thinking of putting her early in a childcare so she can learn," the mother added.

Very noble thought I said to myself, " What do you see the children in this age group are doing here now?" I asked her.

"Play?" she said

"Yes, that's it, does she play at home?" I was rubbing it in

"Yes, but i tot there will be reading and colouring and writing activities for them," she inquired

"Yes, very basic...nothing that a doting granmother and grandfather can't do. And you know what these children here are missing as compared to your daughter?" I asked her because it was becoming very clear the idea was hers not her husband.

She shook her head..." loving grandparents who will love them and give them the tender, loving care that children at this age needed most. They need hugs and kisses and someone to talk to. Your daughter is so lucky to have 2 grandparents at home to give her the full attention. I know u are worried she will be spoilt, spend your time reading and give her activities to do with you when you are home. Or get your MIL & FIL help her do the colouring books. There is no way...u can pay for that kind of attention here." I cant stand it when ppl r not thankful for what they have.

So to rub it in I said to her softly, "Look at these children, I feel sorry for them because, they have runny nose, they get infected from their frens. Parents send them eventhough they have not fully recovered because there's noone to look after them at home. They get sick easily when u put them in a childcare. Do you want this for your daughter. I will take her in if you do not have other childcare arrangement but be thankful you have 2 good caregivers to care for her when you are away at work."

At that point, I saw the husband face lightened up and he smiled at me then look at his wife. I touched her hand and added, "Think about it, if there are any misunderstanding talk about it and discuss afterall you are doing what you feel is good for your daughter and I m sure her grandparents want that too." I left them alone and play with the kids for a while. Then they called their daughter over, thanked me and left.

I only worked for 3 months in that childcare...working in a childcare that was clearly under-managed due to profit-making was not my cup of tea...but the experience was valueable for a short stint. Hehehe if my boss heard what I said to that couple, I get fired anyway. My heart goes to those children, I am glad to know that many more non-profit organisation are opening better quality childcare.

My advise to many young parents if it is not overwhelming for the caregiver at home...let them stay home until they are toilet-trained before you send them for childcare.

Oooops sorry...i just remembered my children were all toilet trained by 18 - 24 months but I noticed some children are later now...ok maybe when they can make sentences and tell you stuff i.e. about 36 months and above unless it is playgroup or pre-school that will not require them to stay at the centre whole day for 5 days a week.

But of course if you do not have a good caretaker, then that's another story. I wish those mother who don't have good caretaker will choose to stay home with their children for at least the first 2 or 3 years (6 will be great!) ...those are wonderful years where their growth and development in all areas spurt like wild fire - like the saying that say "Everything that u need to learn in life, you'll learn it in kindergarten." Another words what make your child is what he/she learns when he/she is at the age of 0-6 years old. - a very sad thruth for some...

But as I said before...parents know best, insha'Allah...seek advice if you are not sure  make it an informed decision, then work towards making it the RIGHT decision.

Only Allah knows best!

This is part of the essence of motherhood, watching your kid grow into her own person and not being able to do anything about it. Otherwise children would be nothing more than pets.  ~ Heather ArmstrongTaken from http://ssaria.multiply.com/journal/item/122/When_will_my_child_be_ready_for_childcare written on Dec 15, '10 

Resources

Ready or Not: Childcare Providers⿿ and Kindergarten Teachers⿿Perceptions on the School Readiness of Children withand without Disabilities
The Childcare Answer Book
Positive Discipline for Childcare Providers: A Practical and Effective Plan for Every Preschool and Daycare ProgramPrecious Moments "Yield Not to Temptation"