I hope you can share with me how you help your daughter in her studies

Peace be to all...

The joy of sharing with others - has no words to describe. I was humbled when I received this question from a concerned aunt, so I tot I share it with others who might be in the same situation. Some editing and changes is done for easy understanding.

Her question: I was told that your 3rd child has mild autistic but scores n her exam. My nephew is in P2 and also has mild autistic. Last Wed I met his parents and they informed us that he failed all his subjects.He can read well, but doesn't understand what he reads.I hope you can share with me how you help your daughter in her studies

....................................My reply.....................................

 

My daughter was not diagnosed as having mild autism by the expert. It was just my assumption tru observation using a checklist or probably to give myself excuses so that it is easier for me to accept the fact that she has learning challenges unlike her other 3 siblings. ;))

I think it will be fair if I tell u where she is coming from ...so it will b a long story. We noticed that she has a gift, she is very sensitive and is very good with her hands, she is good at drawing and arts stuff. Due to her sensitive nature she is easily disturbed and has low self esteem. It does not help when her other siblings are doing well in school when she could only get Bs at the most an occasionaly A for her favourite subject. Some of her teachers are the same teachers who taught her siblings and they cant help but to compare her with her other siblings. What help is the fact that I am not easily influenced by peer pressure or anyone for that matter. I choose not to attend parent-teacher meet and I told my children that what is important is they enjoy learning and school is just a phase in their life and prepare them for greater challenges ~ so relax it will be over soon.

I know most parents will not categorize their child as challenged when she can passed her exams and scored Bs. But I believe that primary education is easy and all children has the ability to excel esp in primary school, so her Bs was quiet worrying for us but we try our best to hide it and pray that she will excel and find her strength in other areas. Not because of the grades but because it dissipates the joy of learning bcos it is my belief that learning should be an enjoyable experience not sufferings...so seeing her struggle is a pain.

Well what I did 1st was to identify her weakness and work on her strength. Her weakness was in reading, she was not phonetically developed. It could also be our fault, she changed 3 pre-schools when she was young. Too many changes was pretty bad for a young child. So she was not able to make the sound of 2 consonants when they are joined together. She had to attend remedial bcos of her reading disability. We then send her for educational testing and she went tru 3 months of hand-eye coordination exercises and therapy. Google for "hand-eye coordination activities" if u want to know them. That improves her reading and she did not need to go for the remedial, but she was still struggling and could not focus on her work.

Maths was a challenge because she used to take a long route to make connections. we had to break the concepts into smaller and simpler steps before she could graps it. Understanding of Maths concepts r important...I would not allow it to pass. We had to go tru them again and again until it clicked...so lots of patience and time needed. At time due to my weak patience, I lost it...we will then take a break or I'd seek the help of my 2 other girls. So she has more ppl to turn to and that really help. We use lots of manipulatives and concrete examples to help her.

Understanding comprehension was a struggle because she has yet to learn the joy of reading, could not predict and poor at making inferences. Even when she watched movies, she could not understand the emotions shown by the ppl. So we exposed her to various types of books, more for the joy of reading than for comprehension passages. We choose books that are humourous and deals with emotions. Will share with her the books we read and asked her to share with us what she reads. Ghost stories are banned...I personally don't believe scaring my children unnecessarily...and I told them they should not be scared of ghost bcos ghosts r scared of me...hehehe they agreed and are not attracted to such stories, even on TV, those vampires r not attractive to them at all. Alhamdullilah...

Art and Science r her favourite subject because she uses mind-maps and used lots of colours (she is an artist by nature) and can remember her facts quiet easily using this study technique.

We try our best not to pressure her and accepted her challenges and praised her for any achievement that she did. It was not tt difficult considering she still passed her exams and she has other talents. She needed lots of hugs and encouragement esp when she is moody and could not understand why she feels sad. However, being a girl, maturity helps too now she knows that she only has 1 more year of primary school education she has to study hard (which saddened me bcos her other siblings did not need to do it as hard as she does). Since both her elder sisters are in girls schools, she is targetting to enter an all-girls school too during her secondary years. So she has to set a very high target for herself and it seems quiet impossible...

But Alhamdullilah the big jump happened when she started taking MILA in September (will write to u on a separate note if u have not heard of it), The Omega3 content in the food help her to focus and can spend longer hours doing her work. She understands concepts easily and able to finish her work on time.

Her exams results are much better, she scored A for all the subjects except English, she only missed getting A by 3 marks! Now her target is "I m possible" and insha'Allah it will not be such a struggle anymore, she had since gained confidence and has more time to play and watched her favourite shows.

However, if your nephew is a good reader than, his problem might be different. If he had failed all his subjects, then it could be that he did not understand the concepts taught in the first place or he could just simply be bored stiff with what is being taught in school. These are the questions you will have to find out:
1.Is he allowed to study according to his learning style?
2.Does he unsderstand the Maths concepts? If not is the teaching methods used appropriate to his learning style?
3. Who helps him at home? Does that person knows the right teaching pedagogy to teach him?
4. In reading - googgle for 'comprehension strategies' or 'comprehension skills' - Used these techniques to help him in his reading. Start with picture reading if he has not develop his vocabulary or is not good at forming sentences. Talk more instead of reading and let him make sense of what he is talking. This will help in his composition. He could be thinking faster than he talks - geniuses are like that!
5. Is he taught using any study techniques that is appropriate to his age?

I seriously think - it is not the child who is at fault but what makes that child looks like a failure that need to be addressed. No child is born stupid, the stupid mistakes are made by those who assessed him. The problem and perception will be changed when these mistakes r identified and corrected. Only then will you be able to help the child find his true potential, insha'Allah.

Well, I think that is way tooo long...do feedback to me and you are welcome to ask more question

All good comes from Allah, Apologies for any errors or mistakes.

Wsalam

Raising Interested Readers

Peace be to all,

Did a presentation at a childcare for Mendaki PEP programme yesterday. Here is a summary of what I shared with the parents:

 The ABC of How to Help Your Child Love Reading

Getting your child to love reading can start as soon as they were born, or even during pregnancy itself. Babies enjoy hearing parents’ voice and will naturally be absorbed by the language and attention even if understanding only comes later. Here are some pointers to help your child love reading:

·                Avoid forcing your child to read by himself. Reading should not be a form of punishment. Read with him if he refused to start reading.

·                Books should easily be made accessible for them to reach. Surrounds your child with books.

·                Create an inviting atmosphere for reading.

·                Do it together. Make reading a family activity.

·                Encourage your child to join when you read.

·                Find books that your child is interested in.

·                Get to know the librarian at your library to help pick out good books.

·                Help your child by being a good role model.

·                Instil in your children the love for reading as early as possible.

·                Join the library and let your child attends the reading activities they conduct for children

·                Kindly, skip to a favourite page or book, if your child loses her interest. Read as long as your child willing to listen

·                Let your child chooses his own books.

·                Make reading fun. Follow-up with reading activities

·                Never Criticise or ridicule her when she tries to read on her own

·                Open ended is a good way to pose to your child, to help him thinks and understand the story he reads.

·                Point to the words as you read aloud. Your child will be able to connect printed words to spoken words.

·                Quiet corner should be created for your child to go to whenever she feels like it.

·                Read everywhere you go. Read signs, posters, advertisement and others.

·                Support your reading to her with expression that shows enthusiasm.

·                Talk about pictures or the book as you read it.

·                Unusual stories that brightened up your imagination will usually lighten up a child

·                Various types of books should be introduced to your child – poetry, word pattern, rhymes and repetition books are some examples.

·                Write simple notes to your child and read to him.

·                X-tra time should always be made for reading whenever possible. Read aloud to your child for a few minutes every day.

·                Yes! Should always be the answer when your child asks you to read to him. (excuses can be given after that)

·                Zest! Must be added to your reading whenever you read to your child.

And some of the websites for additional resources on reading:

 http://www.prel.org/toolkit/pdf/teach/Shared%20Reading.pdf

http://www.oe.k12.mi.us/balanced_literacy/guided_reading.htm

http://www.cranfordschools.org/bas/Firstgrade.htm

Some reading activity websites:

http://readingeggs.com

http://www.starfall.com/

http://childrensbooks.about.com/

http://www.roythezebra.com/

MY DEAR SISTERS ~ DO YOU REALLY CARE? posted in my FB notes on 13Aug09

I have always been concern over my weight, not because of vanity but because of health. I am always worried of being a burden to others because ultimately one of the things that make u sick is being overweight. I know if Allah wills it u will fall sick but prevention is better that cure right? And one of the ways is to watch what u eat. At least in my case, I will be easily out of breath and catch cold and cough easily when my weight ballooned or when i don't exercise. I don't deny the fact that its difficult to loose weight when u are older but do u really need to carry those extra kilos.

Just recently, after meeting my dear friends; one of our favourite subjects is of course about loosing the extra kilos. And I realized that most of my dear sisters love to eat...i like it to but recently i began to detest it for the fact that it had caused many unhappiness on me whenever i over eat. i became sluggish, lazy, sleepy and even sickly. But why do we keep doing it i.e. OVER EAT??? DON'T YOU CARE?

i watched with concerned over the few sisters i met recently...they are still young in their late 20s and early 30s with children as young as 2-3 years old. I wonder...DO THEY REALLY CARE? not only of themselves but also their children. I am sure they do but really my dear sisters DO U REALLY CARE?

if any of u noticed, i could barely eat the foods that were served on that day. Not because they were not palatable but because I was worried sick of the consequences that will affect some of us who ate that day. The foods were too rich, too sweet and too fattening. Alhamdullilah some of u brought fruits and some healthy stuff which i did eat.

Back to my question again. my dear sisters DO U REALLY CARE? Imagine if u continue eating the way you did that day (i know its not everyday u eat that way, i am exagerating a bit) but even if u really do it once in a blue moon...DO YOU REALLY CARE? What u put in your body? What it does to the sugar level in your body? In your blood?

Rasullulah s.a.w. encouraged us to be “moderate" in whatever we do. Are we doing that in the food that we take? Have u ever thought that some of the food that u take eventhough it is halal may be haram if it is harmful for your body. well maybe i am out of track again. let me get to my question again.

DO YOU REALLY CARE? If u don't watch your weight or health in this case, your children will need to look after you when they start their secondary school life. Imagine what u will be putting your children tru if u are sick when it’s actually time for them to learn and grow. I was looking at your children concerned of what will be ...should u not take care of your health from now.

DO YOU REALLY CARE? i am too sad to continue now...but sisters i will love to hear your comments and prove that i am wrong and ALL OF YOU DO REALLY CARE...INSHA'ALLAH.

How do u weigh your good deeds?

Peace be upon all

One of the interesting questions that we came across when we exposed children to activity is the question - "How do you weigh your good deeds?" Parents were prepelexed when we posed that question in an activity - They questioned our intention and asked why we gave the pre-scholl children such a difficult and philisophical questions. 

We are well aware that children simplicity was what we wanted  and we had tested the questions to young children before posting the questions in our activity. The children are capable of answering simple questions that we adult as adult think is difficult.

Alia a 10 year old replied - "Good deeds is not something that u weigh its something that u do."

Amsyar who was 8 replied - "You can't weigh good deeds but u can count how many good deeds that u can do."

To me both answers are acceptable...is it philosophical? Maybe well, why not...we should expose children to critical thinking as young as possible...they need to see things from different perspective. Just because u ask a question on how to weigh something, that does not mean u have to show them how and give the exact answer. Its how u understand the concept of 'good deeds' versus the concept of "weigh".

Their answers are good example - there is no 1 right answer to such a question. What we are looking for was the child's understanding of the concepts of good deeds so the question was posed to let parents and child explore some of these possibilities :

•  To listen to what the child thinks. 
• All answers are possible there is no one right/wrong answer.
• The child can compare betwwn what is consider as bad deeds versus good deeds
• S/he can identify what s/he does in a day - did I do more gd deed than bad deed today, 
• So is the weigh  of my good deeds heavier than my bad deeds 
• Or "i can weigh my good deeds by the number of good deeds that i do today as compared to yesterday."

As adult sometimes we tend to forget how simple things are. We may just roll our eyes when such question is posed to us and ignore it or regard the question as irrelevant, when they don't know how to respon to their questions or over-think to find the answer. 

There are many questions that we should pose to our children during every day activity that are not direct questions because we want to train our children to be thinkers. Thinkers who will be able to look at a question and break it into simple question and apply simple steps to solve it.

To put it simply...life is actually simple...we choose to make it difficult.

The last lap in 2008

Its that time of the year where u muhasabah and reflect on what you had done. Muharam is just a few days away and 2009 is looming too. It has been a great year Alhamdullilah, no regrets...I had decided to go back to school the same year my son starts schooling and Athira taking her PSLE.

I am so greatful and thankful to all who had been the contributing factor for me to make such a move...well i need a new challenge..as though raising four children was not challenging enuf. I mean new satisfaction... to make my life more meaningful. Most of all I am thankful to Allah for giving me a relief from my boredom and put me into something that make me feel more worthy for being his khalifah. Thank you Allah...hmmm that sounds so familiar...there's a song by the same title...now its playing in my head :))

Well... I still feel I can do better in my studies as usual more play than work...old habit die hard ...new resolution to do better next year and complete my MEd by Nov 2009, insha'Allah. Amsyar did well in his P1...it was a breeze for him and so did Athira...she did better than expected...never thought she could score 20 agregate points above Arina. But they both have different strength and Arina and Alia did well in their studies too. I am still trying to make myself and the children (of course) enjoy our learning journey. Ohh yes not forgeting my dear hubby...he is trying to catch up with all of us...we need someone to pull the hand brake so that we don't crash. Well actually...he is the one who have to handle all the stress, he came back from Hajj early this year and then had to pick up after us.

Its not all studies, we were blessed with a new home across the causeway...hope its a good investment, good location and the children enjoy the change during weekends and holidays. Its a good break from busy Singapore for them. It is home a way from home. They each got a room of their own there, since we rented out part of our HDB flat. Which is convinient for me...not much cleaning to do and since the entrance is totally separated and no infrinegment of privacy...the extra income helps too. We are doing well, Alhamdullilah.

There are also challenges faced by other family members, death in the family as well as renewed relationships found. As our parents left we had to find cousins which we were not aware of and the children learnt of thier 2nd cousins and relatives,

At work, my boredom had to be put aside at end of the year and the development works that I put aside needed a revamp. Creative juices was forced out into action to salvage the works so that the standard will not be at stake. I am thankful again for all the help and the patience that my fellow colleagues and teachers who are working and striving with me. A grand salute to all of them who had persevere. And my apologies for not meeting the desired outcome... insha'Allah need all your du'as that before this year end I will complete my mission and deliver as expected, insha'Allah.

Next year will be another interesting and exciting journey...hope to be extremely patience with all, esp my children who are growing up fast. Arina who is in MGS will be 15 next year... preparing for her 'O' level in 2010...insha'Allah she is a consistent worker, unlike her mother...she will be prepared for it. Alhamdullilah none of my children do last minute studies for exams...they handle it better than I did...their rule no studies 24 hour before exams. So usually you will see them relaxing before exams. But project works? Well that will need more planning and training, but I trust they will definitely do better than their parents, insha'Allah. Athira will start her 1st year in RGS, I personally hope I will not be overly worried over her attitude,Will do plenty of du'as and hope she will find her potential there. Honestly, I am at lost as to what she is good at. Alia will be 10 nex yr, need to find a class for her to sharpen her creative nature...She is definitely different from the rest, focusing and studying academic subject is a challenge for her. though she is doing well now...need to find ways to make the learning more enjoyable so that she will be more interested. Amsyar will be 8 in about 2 weeks time. Need to train him to read for pleasure instead of reading for the sake of getting computer time. He is way beyond his year in his studies, so there is a need to find something more challenging for him to explore...hmmm another area of interest beside computer games.

Well...battery is running out...May Allah help us for this coming days and weeks and months and years.