Do You Know? It is a dream...

Peace be to all...Alhamdulillah, I had finally published a book for children. I had always wanted to write and "talk" to children to inspire them to read and be happy and always be in gratitute towards what they have in life. Never imagined that my first book will be about the Prophets.

As I reflected upon this journey, I had in a way been wishing for it unconciously and spoken about it many times but the doubt of being able to accomplish it had been overwhelming. The ideas were aplenty but the tasks seemed too laborious. What actually help was a simple formula ~ having a dream and believe that Allah will ease the way because you are doing it for Him and noone else. :)

The belief that Allah will show me the path has always been at the back of my mind, and I know every step I take is due to His blessings. The positive thinking that I have to surround myself with is due to His Grace and Mercy for He is the only one that can make or break me. At the end of the day having that trust make my wish is His command.

Now that the book is printed, I know the journey ahead is still not over...it is time for me to eat lots of humble pie. I must and always remember that without the wisdom and the ability He has given me - I will not be able to be His tool in delivering the messages that I wish to deliver to others.

I hope and I pray that I will not be arrogant, to accept feedback and criticism from others along the way and be willing to accept them constructively with open arms. That He will provide me with the patience and wisdom to handle them ~ for I am not perfect and i am just one of the many writers who are trying to reach out to others.

The experience of launching the book had in itself shown me that just writing the book is no big deal - when famous writers sold books in thousands a day, my book managed only in tens ... but for that every book that is sold - i hope and i pray that the stories will reach to thousands of hearts and listening ears...it is not the glory that i am looking for (Glory be to Allah) but the values and the blessings of Allah that i wish to gather.

Thus my wish is to continue this journey and pray that He will show me the right path, the path of those whom He has favoured, insya'Allah...Ameen

Meeting datelines again...

Peace be to all... Last week had been an active week. Alhamdulillah ... I am now reflecting and looking at it from a 3rd person view. While waiting in a dark at my daughter's sch carpark. During my previous life abt a few months ago I wld be upset and angered w my daughter for not informing me that she will b later than usual.-  it is 9:30pm now and the school carpark do not have street lights.

However, I m ever in gratitude now that Allah has provided me a peaceful mind that has helped me find an alternative instead of getting angry. Alhamdulillah I was able to take the challenges; eventhough I m no longer working 9 to 5. I have the liberty to take projects that I love and feel will benefit me in my own development and so I had a dateline to meet last week and my laptop went dead twice! Yes after I sent it for service took it and it failed on me again. So I had to send it for repair again. Did I panicked - I need it to finish my project. Aaargh!!!

Alhamdulillah - I was grateful still cos I had another laptop to work on and was able to take my hard disk out of my laptop to continue my work. What I did was to ask the technician about my files in the laptop, whether I can retrieve it? She then helped me to take my hard disk out. To me that was the price for not getting angry-a clear mind to think and a solution to my predicament :)) Along the way, I learned many things that I had wanted to learn and worked things out to complete my project;

1. Challenges usually arised for you to pause and check what u r doing is right
2. To evaluate your work and seek His guidance so that u will not go astray
3. To provide you time to do your other 'responsibility' that u might have neglect bcos u r too engrossed
4. VERY IMPORTANT - do not rush - u tend to make lots of unnecessary mistakes when u rush
5. To look for altenatives to enjoy the break instead of feeling frustrated for not being able to continue with the task
6. Allah is Al-Wajid (The Resourceful) - how much time u have in your hand will not allow u to complete the task lest He provides u the resources and the ability to complete your task.

When my computer came back - the company home delivered it to me because it still under warranty - the delivery man asked me if I wished to fill up their complain form (because I had to send it for service twice). I declined, to me complaining is like a disease, it will stick to you and repeat it self. Whatever I write will be like a dua, a self-prophecy which I don't want to repeat, And so i thanked him and took my laptop just grateful that I got it back.

In retrospective, previously when I was an executive I wld just get angry and be at lost as how to continue w my work (at least for a while until - i was calm enuf to find a solution) and continously complain but do whatever i can still, until I got it back. So very unproductive and a waste of energy and time. The challenges kept coming back because i complained a lot instead of using the time to evaluate myself.

If there is such a thing as "stress is good" well it is not so for me - pushing away the choleric I once was. I m comfortable at being peacefully phlegmatic at this stage of my life. Rush will angered me and the devil will take opportunity to pounch on me and make me look out for faults. Adrenaline is only good for me when I am exercising ... it helps burn fats...hehehe... but it does not serve me well when I m doing work or maybe it does when the energy is used positively.

Complaining, is another devil that I don't wish to get involved with. Once you like it - it will stick to you like a leech and will keep sucking up until you kill it or remove it. I don't want to waste my time and energy in it so i don't indulge in it.

So what actually help me meet my dateline as usual is the thought that Allah will ease my journey, if what I am doing is meant for me to be successful in it. If not...then there are reasons that I know not and only He knows...All praise be to Allah - Alhamdulillah - may Allah provide me the wisdom to resolve my challenges rather than complaining. Ameeen.

Japanese boy teaches lesson in sacrifice

Published on ShanghaiDaily.com (http://www.shanghaidaily.com/)
http://www.shanghaidaily.com/article/?id=467066&type=Opinion

Japanese boy teaches lesson in sacrifice
Created: 2011-3-24 0:17:31

EDITOR'S note:
THIS letter, written by Vietnamese immigrant Ha Minh Thanh working in Fukushima as a policeman to a friend in Vietnam, was posted on New America Media on March 19. It is a testimonial to the strength of the Japanese spirit, and an interesting slice of life near the epicenter of Japan's crisis at the Fukushima nuclear power plant. It was translated by NAM editor Andrew Lam, author of "East Eats West: Writing in Two Hemispheres." Shanghai Daily condensed it.

Brother,
How are you and your family? These last few days, everything was in chaos. When I close my eyes, I see dead bodies. When I open my eyes, I also see dead bodies.

Each one of us must work 20 hours a day, yet I wish there were 48 hours in the day, so that we could continue helping and rescuing folks.

We are without water and electricity, and food rations are near zero. We barely manage to move refugees before there are new orders to move them elsewhere.

I am currently in Fukushima, about 25 kilometers away from the nuclear power plant. I have so much to tell you that if I could write it all down, it would surely turn into a novel about human relationships and behaviors during times of crisis.

People here remain calm - their sense of dignity and proper behavior are very good - so things aren't as bad as they could be. But given another week, I can't guarantee that things won't get to a point where we can no longer provide proper protection and order.

They are humans after all, and when hunger and thirst override dignity, well, they will do whatever they have to do. The government is trying to provide supplies by air, bringing in food and medicine, but it's like dropping a little salt into the ocean.

Brother, there was a really moving incident. It involves a little Japanese boy who taught an adult like me a lesson on how to behave like a human being.

Last night, I was sent to a little grammar school to help a charity organization distribute food to the refugees. It was a long line that snaked this way and that and I saw a little boy around 9 years old. He was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

It was getting very cold and the boy was at the very end of the line. I was worried that by the time his turn came there wouldn't be any food left. So I spoke to him. He said he was at school when the earthquake happened. His father worked nearby and was driving to the school. The boy was on the third floor balcony when he saw the tsunami sweep his father's car away.

I asked him about his mother. He said his house is right by the beach and that his mother and little sister probably didn't make it. He turned his head and wiped his tears when I asked about his relatives.
The boy was shivering so I took off my police jacket and put it on him. That's when my bag of food ration fell out. I picked it up and gave it to him. "When it comes to your turn, they might run out of food. So here's my portion. I already ate. Why don't you eat it?"

The boy took my food and bowed. I thought he would eat it right away, but he didn't. He took the bag of food, went up to where the line ended and put it where all the food was waiting to be distributed.
I was shocked. I asked him why he didn't eat it and instead added it to the food pile. He answered: "Because I see a lot more people hungrier than I am. If I put it there, then they will distribute the food equally."
When I heard that I turned away so that people wouldn't see me cry.

A society that can produce a 9-year-old who understands the concept of sacrifice for the greater good must be a great society, a great people.

Well, a few lines to send you and your family my warm wishes. The hours of my shift have begun again.
Ha Minh Thanh

In sickness or in health is still a blessing...

Peace be to all...the wonder of the technology is amazing...u can wish your friends who are sick to get well soon, birthdays and what nots without even meeting them or calling them. I am all for it - that is why I am so techno-friendly - definitely not a freak cos I can live without it and snuggle with a book instead.

I like it because i don't need to meet ppl or bother them on the phone and yet keep in touch. Hehehe ~ I like - I don't need to visit and bother you when you are sick and yet I can wish you well and ask you how you are doing. To me that is a blessing too bcos personally I dont like to meet ppl when I am sick ...it is so not comfortable.

Well just as the holidays looms it will be followed by the flu bugs...Alhamdullilah my family was able to escape many instances and I can count in one hand the number of times my children got fever or flu last year - once or maybe twice. And this year we were greeted with it in January...I m not complaining but as compared to others we are far more blessed. Added to that it usually dont last more than a week...so we are ever thankful. Especially since we took Mila (chia seeds) and bought it online from http://lifemax.net/saria we have been blessed with healthier food since. Alhamdulillah!
To me getting sick is still a blessing ...just about a month ago I was reading my friends FB updates and wishing them - get well soon...and at the back of my mind I was wondering when was the last time I caught a flu and feeling dreadful like they did...it seems ages and I was feeling bad for not feeling sick. Yeah! Crazy me! Well I remembered a saying that say sickness is for a way for Allah to test you and to bring you closer to Him...guess I was jealous. Hahaha...stupid jealousy...so in a way I was wishing to get sick? Guess what? My wish is His command? I got it...after looking after my feverish son for a day...He got well the day after without coughing or runny nose but my eldest daughter and me got the full blown flu but for a few days...well I guess that goes to show Allah knows we can endure better. It makes you appreciate your good health better, it reminded you of His many blessings giving you a painless body that allows you to move freely and doing your chores easily.

And yet i am ever thankful for all that, i know of someone who's family is suffering one sickness after another and yet they stood steadfast and stay positive throughout their challenges. The only examples I had seen in my family were my own parents and parent-in-law. Alhamdullilah...now that years had passed I could barely remembered the challenges that we faced, I supposed we were able to handle it and carry-on with our lives.

And as the clock turns...it will be soon our turn, insha'Allah I hope we will try our best to keep fit and stay healthy and not be a burden to our children and keep thinking of what to eat! Get a life! I dont really like it when ppl posted pictures of food on FB aren't there any better things to do than eat ... Food is what makes you...aahh... let's not talk about food - we eat to live.

My wish is to meet Him when I m in the best state of Iman (and in Health i.e. I did not cause any misgivings to my body bcos of what I ate or do to it), insha'Allah....Ameen...

May Allah provides us with good health to bring us closer to Him, insha'Allah...Ameeen....

First Posted in Multiply on Jan 21, '11

Resources
Health and Medicine in the Islamic Tradition: Change and Identity (Health/Medicine and the Faith Traditions)

The Magic of Chia: Revival of an Ancient Wonder Food

Link to Chia Seeds and its benefits http://lifemax.net/saria/mila

The Scholar and The Needy

Peace be to all...

During my volunteer work, I have the chance to meet students who are scholars and those who need help in their studies (the needy).

In order to help those needy students a tutoring session is conducted by volunteers to help the children who came for the sessions.

Sadly, tho we have many volunteers - very few needy students came for assistance - I guess they are not needy afterall to forego the free services that the enthusiastic volunteers are offering. Many of these volunteers came from top schools in Singapore and wish to contribute their time in helping others. Tho it is part of their school curricular requirements, these students can choose various vocations to meet the requirements and they chose tutoring.

During these sessions I was able to observe the difference between the scholars and the needy.

• The scholars are willing to take challenges, while the needy squirm when given one. For example, most of these students volunteer had never done tutoring before and yet when given the task they look forward to making sure they help their tutee understood what was being taught. The tutee when given an extra task to do that will help in their learning, refused to do and even squirmed at the task, eventho after doing it - they attained marked improvement but ironically they are reluctant to repeat the act even after knowing it works!
• The scholars will prepare what u gave them by the end of the day. The needy ignored the task even if u gave them a week.
• The Scholars will come early before the session, the needy will absent him/herself when she pleased.
• The scholars consider academic excellence as a given (must score A), the needy will be glad if she gets a pass.
• The Scholars not only excel in academic but also in sports and other activities, the needy are forbidden to join any extra curricular activities by their parents with reason that their children need to spend more time studying. Many of the needy parents have a misconception that extra curricular activities is a waste of time and yet they did not encourage their children to read story books either, thinking studying can only be done via the textbooks.
• The scolars get good nutrition and healthy food, the needy spent money on buying candies and junk food.

The differences are great as such it is understood why the scholars turned out to be scholars and the needy remains as a needy. In my work, I tried my best to educate the needy children and abolished many misconceptions and try my best to establish right attitude and principle. However, at the end of the day...those who managed to get out of their "needy" group are those who are able to break free from their norms and persevere when faced with challenges. These needy children have the potential to be scholars too only if they are steadfast and willing to take the Big leap to make the difference.

Insha'Allah - may Allah shows them the way and provide them with all the providence that they need. Ameeen....

Recommended Books
Developing Thinking and Understanding in Young Children

Caring and Sharing: Becoming a Peer Facilitator

Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery

Raising a Thinking Child: Help Your Young Child to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along with Others

Raising Thinking Children and Teens: Guiding Mental and Moral Development

Raising a Thinking Child Workbook: Teaching Young Children How to Resolve Everyday Conflicts and Get Along with Others

Raising a Thinking Preteen: The "I Can Problem Solve" Program for 8- to 12- Year-Olds

Building Thinking Skills, Level 2


Think About It!: Thinking Skills Activities for Years 3 and 4 (Nace/Fulton S.)



Dollars For Scholars--The Autobiography of Dr. Irving A. Fradkin, Founder of Citizens' Scholarship

Foundation of America Negation Raising: Logic Form and Linguistic Variation

Will u pay someone to play with your child?

Peace be to all...Occasionally I have been asked by my juniors for advice ~ whether it is timely for them to register their child in a playgroup for a few hours a week. The child will usually be less than 2 years old and she (the mother) will have to sit in with her child during the program.
This will be my usual conversation with a mother ~

 Me: "Are you willing to pay someone to play with your child? Are you willing to pay someone to teach you how to play with your child?"

Mother will usually laugh and said something like..."but u know what to do with your children, its different." (hmmm...and I tot i had a magic wand hidden somewhere, am i imagining things?)

"Yes, alhamdullilah I do (where is that magic wand so that i can pass it to her )  but don't tell me you don't know how to read to your child? you can't do simple art activity and play simple games with your child? I mean if you truly have the money and don't know how to use it googgle for activities that is appropriate for your child and buy her books and educational toys. At this age it is time for you to bond with your child. If you wish to get her to socialise, call a few frens and arrange for play dates...then all of you can have a sharing circle on how to raise your children."

I just can't take excuses but just to soften the blow I added, “However, if you truly feel that you need help to play with your child, do go ahead...there is no harm. What is your objective of sending her for the program?"

"She will learn to play; they will have art activities and reading program."...she stopped and thought for a while when she realised where i was taking her... to think aloud what she had said and she will then have to ask herself the above questions again. "hahaha - u got me..." she said.

Me: " Well, unless you need 'professionals' to teach you how to play with your child, then go for it...just to tell you a secret...u can get them all in the internet, just googgle for 'activities for babies or toddlers' and you'll get all the info for free. However, if you feel that the money will be well-spent as an investment for your child...pls do go ahead."

 hmmm...I can actually offer my own children to play with her girl ... jus a tot...my children would surely enjoy it and can teach her how to play with her own child but i don't usually make that offer unless u live nearby. But sadly this is what actually happen today, many parents have forgotten how to play or don't know how to play with their children. I guess they do need help and pay someone to help them play with their child.

Haiz....I just feel that there should be an institution that roll out licenses to parents who wishes to have babies and teach them how to play and take care of children before they are allowed to have one. I wrote a similar tots about 15 years ago in a newsletter and was reprimanded for thinking as such. Well, i still feel the same now.

Well, I know many of us get a maid to look after and play with our children, or those lucky ones have the grandparents and if you really feel the money is well spent please or there have no choice, so be it...I know in Singapore such program cost a bomb just because of their brand name. What they really do is to tell you how to play and bond with your child by providing some equipment to develop their motor skills...the rest is up to you. Basically these skills can be developed by allowing your child to play sand in the beaches, water in the swimming pool and the swings, climbers & slides in the playgrounds. We r so lucky here because there r so many playgrounds around our neighbourhood and parks. Unless of course your child is allergic to the water, sand & sun and need air-conditioned room...

 

When my children were young i used Teach Your Child: How to Discover and Enhance Your Child's Potential (DK Dr Miriam Stoppard) to guide me in doing appropriate activities and buying toys for my children.

 

Usually I ended the conversation by leaving the decision to her...to me, what best for your child is what you believe to be the best. I can't change or give you an answer. As parents it is your decision and once you had made that decision even if others are against it - make that decision the RIGHT one for you and your child...the rest will be decided tru Allah's blessings ...and be ever thankful for it, insha'Allah everything will fall into its rightful place. 

 

 Only Allah knows best ~

Here are some other books!

• The Toddler's Busy Book: 365 Creative Games and Activities to Keep Your 1 1/2- to 3-Year-Old Busy
• Preschooler's Busy Book: 365 Creative Games & Activities To Occupy 3-6 Year Olds
• Science is Simple: Over 250 Activities for Preschoolers
• 200+ Games and Fun Activities for Teaching Preschoolers
• Great Big Book of Children's Games: Over 450 Indoor & Outdoor Games for Kids (Ages 3-12)
• Rainy Day Activities For Kids: Teach Them & Keep Them Entertained For Hours!

 

 Posted in http://ssaria.multiply.com/journal on Dec 14, '10 7:53 PM

We have to learn from them...10 things to learn from Japan

Peace be to All...

A fren send these reflection via email and I strongly feel there are so many things we can learn from the Japanese. These are not my own writing but others who wish to share what they had learned from the honourable people in Japan...May Allah provide them with the strength to persevere and shower them with His abundance and mercy...Ameen

We have to learn from them...
10 things to learn from Japan

1. THE CALM
Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself has been elevated.

2. THE DIGNITY
Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough word or a crude gesture.

3. THE ABILITY
The incredible architects, for instance. Buildings swayed but didn’t fall.

4. THE GRACE
People bought only what they needed for the present, so everybody could get something.

5. THE ORDER
No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the roads. Just understanding.

6. THE SACRIFICE
Fifty workers stayed back to pump sea water in the N-reactors. How will they ever be repaid?

7. THE TENDERNESS
Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The strong cared for the weak.

8. THE TRAINING
The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do. And they did just that.

9. THE MEDIA
They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No sensationalizing. Only calm reportage.

10. THE CONSCIENCE
When the power went off in a store, people put things back on the shelves and left quietly

Japanese Culture, 4th Edition (Updated and Expanded)

The Japanese Mind: Understanding Contemporary Japanese Culture
Introduction to Japanese Culture
The Japanese Have a Word for It: The Complete Guide to Japanese Thought and Culture

Tuition Vs Study Skills - Are u doing the right thing?

Peace be to all...

I have always been interested in looking for ways to help children learn, especially those who has difficulty in learning. From the beginning of my teaching career...my interest has always been to help children enjoy learning and it saddened me to see some children are neglected because they are "slow" or because they do not learn the "normal" way as a result they loose out in getting high marks because the assessment of students here is mainly  through summative assessment as a result even though these students are bright they loose out because they do not have the preffered learning styles.

When we have children, I was determined to help them learn the fun ways. By the time I got my 1st child I had attended various courses on early childhood and knew that the 1st 6 years r the crucial years in child development. I tried various ways of making learning fun for them. So there was always something for them to play with; sand, water, songs, building blocks, toys and lots of books. Yes books are fun play items too!

I was also giving tution  at that time but I struggled to teach these children, because the only way that parent's preferred were to help their children finished the assessment books. I included games and activities but parents only believed that we can get better results if their children could do more assessment books. Eventhough the children improved in their results...I stopped giving tution because we were not enjoying ourselves and learning become stagnant and so unmotivating.

By then I had already chanced upon some study skills and was teaching some children voluntarily on the use of mind mapping, mnemonics and fingers multiplications. I still gave tuition at intervals and it usually last from 6 months to a year. During that time I will train the children to be independent learner and taught them whatever study skills I could. I usually quit because of other commitments but at the back of my mind I knew I was not enjoying myself. There was some form of satisfaction, when I saw them improved but that was not enough.

As my children grew up I make sure they had the skills needed when they started primary school. The struggles were mainly due to time management and my attitude towards making them independent from young. I had high expectations on wanting them to be independent in their studies. Tuition was not an option... both of us taught them when they had problems. At times we lost our temper because we set high expectation. We learned and lowered it down. As more children came, we matured and set appropriate expectations.

Eventhough we did not spend on tution, we did send them for study skills workshops. I knew some, but it was different when a paid trainer and a class of peers learned together. They enjoyed the sessions and benefitted from it. When frens asked, I could not give much feedback because honestly out of the 3 girls only one of them truly benefitted from it and used the skills taught. Parents were not allowed to attend it and I was not very sure how to help them. Thus, I was quiet reluctant to recommend to other parents because it was costly and secondly, they told the children not to share with others what they learned - that include parents!  As a result, they forgotten what they had learned if they don't use one of the skill.

Until one day,  I sat for the seminar by Learning Discoveries, I found what I wanted to share with other parents. Finally an institution who are willing to share with all the benefits of giving your children the right tools to make learning easier for them regardless of their learning styles. Not only was the price of the workshops reasonable, parents of primary school children are allowed to sit-in the class and learned the skills along with their children so that they can help their children along. These are the principles that i believe in!

My children had benefitted from applying the right study skills and had successfully been able to do well without tution. I am sure many more of our children will be able to do so. As parents we want what is best for them, thus equiping them with the right tool for learning is very important. Think about it - have we given them the right skill to do well not only in their primary education but a skill that can be use in secondary, post secondary, university and beyond! It's a life time skill that they can even pass it down to the next generation!!

Resources:
How to Study, 6th Edition
SOAR Study Skills
 Learning to Learn: Strengthening Study Skills and Brain Power
 How to Study and Teaching How to Study
How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less
First posted in http://ssaria.multiply.com/ on Sep 20, '10 7:57 AM